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Substance Abuse
How to stop enabling my herion addict son!
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 543299"><p>Hi Pamala - I only have time for a shortish answer but I want you to know I care.</p><p></p><p>Like you, I came to this site nearly a year ago - desperate for a set of instructions to deal with my increasingly difficult, hostile son. Like you, I was scared to death for him. I felt for sure that somewhere-somehow -- someone (here?)had the answer that would help me find my beloved sweet boy in the mess he was making of himself.</p><p></p><p>There are no answers. But you have taken a very definite step in the right direction by posting here. </p><p></p><p>It's a slow process, a slow walk away and you will look back less and less as the time goes on. </p><p></p><p>For me - it FINALLY sunk in that enabling him, trying to help him, trying to be open and loving towards him (hoping he'd trust me or reciprocate) was making it WORSE, not better.</p><p></p><p>My son has been out of our home for 10+ months. I wish I could tell you it solved our issues. It didn't. But I can tell you that things are better. My life is better. My home has a sense of peace. Sure, my life and our relationship is not where I would like it to be. But I don't get a vote in that. I can't fix him. But I can live my best life without him. Sure, my ideal life would be one with him in it - healthy and happy. But that option isn't available. I had two options - live with him, enable him, make it worse, or let him go and at least have peace in my home (if not my heart).</p><p></p><p>{{{hugs}}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 543299"] Hi Pamala - I only have time for a shortish answer but I want you to know I care. Like you, I came to this site nearly a year ago - desperate for a set of instructions to deal with my increasingly difficult, hostile son. Like you, I was scared to death for him. I felt for sure that somewhere-somehow -- someone (here?)had the answer that would help me find my beloved sweet boy in the mess he was making of himself. There are no answers. But you have taken a very definite step in the right direction by posting here. It's a slow process, a slow walk away and you will look back less and less as the time goes on. For me - it FINALLY sunk in that enabling him, trying to help him, trying to be open and loving towards him (hoping he'd trust me or reciprocate) was making it WORSE, not better. My son has been out of our home for 10+ months. I wish I could tell you it solved our issues. It didn't. But I can tell you that things are better. My life is better. My home has a sense of peace. Sure, my life and our relationship is not where I would like it to be. But I don't get a vote in that. I can't fix him. But I can live my best life without him. Sure, my ideal life would be one with him in it - healthy and happy. But that option isn't available. I had two options - live with him, enable him, make it worse, or let him go and at least have peace in my home (if not my heart). {{{hugs}}} [/QUOTE]
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How to stop enabling my herion addict son!
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