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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
How to stop enabling my herion addict son!
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 543911" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Welcome Song,</p><p>Welcome to the board. I do not have the same issues as you have, no grandbabies or a heroin addict, but I do have a very difficult 17 year old daughter who is mentally ill (most addicts are)addicted to sex and also uses pot. I have to work very hard on not enabling. It means different things to different people and it looks different depending on you child and their needs. The choices I have made based on my daughters issues are that I never give her money-ever, ever! I do not get her a bus pass or allow her to get a driver's licence on my watch (she is too impulsive, hasn't earned it and smokes pot), I also will never give her a ride unless it is to work (she lost her last job), the 2 friend's houses I trust, or to a job interview. I do not make her appointments, I do not remind her off responsibilities, I only buy food and give her a roof ovr her head (she is a minor-I wouldn't for a drug addict adult). It has taken me several months to get there. I have learned the most here on this board and by attending Families Anon meetings. There are some really good books as well that I am sure other's will share with you-right now I am ready all of Melody Beatties stuff on co-dependency because I am focusing on myself and what I need to do to be healthy after 3 years of terror, hell, fear, residential treatments for my daughter and even pending court case! I do not know what I would do if there were children involved-bless you heart for being there. As for dealing with the little 6 year old, I also recommend looking at the general parent board-much advise there. I also think you may get more experienced advise on the parent Emeritis board-so you have at least three boards to get support. Again welcome and know you are not alone-we know what you are going through. Share your struggles and feelings here and keep us posted. ((Hugs)) I hope the site managers move your thread so that you can get all the support you need.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 543911, member: 11001"] Welcome Song, Welcome to the board. I do not have the same issues as you have, no grandbabies or a heroin addict, but I do have a very difficult 17 year old daughter who is mentally ill (most addicts are)addicted to sex and also uses pot. I have to work very hard on not enabling. It means different things to different people and it looks different depending on you child and their needs. The choices I have made based on my daughters issues are that I never give her money-ever, ever! I do not get her a bus pass or allow her to get a driver's licence on my watch (she is too impulsive, hasn't earned it and smokes pot), I also will never give her a ride unless it is to work (she lost her last job), the 2 friend's houses I trust, or to a job interview. I do not make her appointments, I do not remind her off responsibilities, I only buy food and give her a roof ovr her head (she is a minor-I wouldn't for a drug addict adult). It has taken me several months to get there. I have learned the most here on this board and by attending Families Anon meetings. There are some really good books as well that I am sure other's will share with you-right now I am ready all of Melody Beatties stuff on co-dependency because I am focusing on myself and what I need to do to be healthy after 3 years of terror, hell, fear, residential treatments for my daughter and even pending court case! I do not know what I would do if there were children involved-bless you heart for being there. As for dealing with the little 6 year old, I also recommend looking at the general parent board-much advise there. I also think you may get more experienced advise on the parent Emeritis board-so you have at least three boards to get support. Again welcome and know you are not alone-we know what you are going through. Share your struggles and feelings here and keep us posted. ((Hugs)) I hope the site managers move your thread so that you can get all the support you need. [/QUOTE]
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How to stop enabling my herion addict son!
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