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Family of Origin
How to truly go no contact if you sadly must
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<blockquote data-quote="ANewLife4Me" data-source="post: 765033" data-attributes="member: 32799"><p>I know this is a very old thread but, such an important message for me today. Am very sad, having an extremely low moment where everything and everyone is affecting me in some way…..including my husband. I have 3 siblings, 2 sisters and a brother who were very toxic to my mental health. Things were said about me, much as I tried, was always considered the problem. This statement really reflects on what really went on that I did not see before. “ I also found out it's very common for the healthiest family member to be the one considered the black sheep because we upset the delusion everyone else is living in.”</p><p></p><p>I am the person who does everything for everyone and yet, get nothing in return. Holding it all in until I explode then, I am the problem. Gave up my siblings after my Mom and Dad passed away, there is only so much hurt you can take. It was definitely the best decision I ever made. My sister tried to reconnect with me on Facebook but did not want her children to know we had done so. Asked me to forgive her, I said for what? She just kept asking my forgiveness but not what for? Said of course I forgive you, your my sister. She just wanted to relive memories of my Mom and Dad as we were the first who grew up with them young. Instant block! Don’t care if somehow word gets to me she is dying, she will die without my being there.</p><p></p><p>Today, we all know the situation with my daughter in jail…have to go no contact with her for my mental and physical health. My son I wish also to go no contact but, don’t have the strength at this time. We have an on and off relationship, he treats us like children, lords his “ intelligence” over us. He makes promises of things he will do for us or we will get together, do this or that, never happens. I have to make up lies to get back the money we loan him. Begging him to go to Disney with him and his wife, nothing. No….yes, it’s definitely a plan. I know it will not happen before their season passes run out. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="😢" title="Crying face :cry:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f622.png" data-shortname=":cry:" /></p><p></p><p>My husband….32 years married, I just don’t feel a connection with him anymore…..we used to be so close. I know he works full time and goes to college. He wants to sit around all week watching tv when he should be working on schoolwork, does nothing around the house unless I ask him to cut the grass. Even that I used to do as well. Waits until the very last minute to do his papers, usually pushing the midnight deadline and or later. Constantly fighting with him because none of this is his problem, just relax he says, don’t let it bother you so much. Well, when your the person who does everything for everyone, be it helping, listening, shoulder to cry on etc……..I am done.</p><p></p><p>I have day dreams of living on my own and letting go of everyone in my life. I should not have to feel like this day in and day out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ANewLife4Me, post: 765033, member: 32799"] I know this is a very old thread but, such an important message for me today. Am very sad, having an extremely low moment where everything and everyone is affecting me in some way…..including my husband. I have 3 siblings, 2 sisters and a brother who were very toxic to my mental health. Things were said about me, much as I tried, was always considered the problem. This statement really reflects on what really went on that I did not see before. “ I also found out it's very common for the healthiest family member to be the one considered the black sheep because we upset the delusion everyone else is living in.” I am the person who does everything for everyone and yet, get nothing in return. Holding it all in until I explode then, I am the problem. Gave up my siblings after my Mom and Dad passed away, there is only so much hurt you can take. It was definitely the best decision I ever made. My sister tried to reconnect with me on Facebook but did not want her children to know we had done so. Asked me to forgive her, I said for what? She just kept asking my forgiveness but not what for? Said of course I forgive you, your my sister. She just wanted to relive memories of my Mom and Dad as we were the first who grew up with them young. Instant block! Don’t care if somehow word gets to me she is dying, she will die without my being there. Today, we all know the situation with my daughter in jail…have to go no contact with her for my mental and physical health. My son I wish also to go no contact but, don’t have the strength at this time. We have an on and off relationship, he treats us like children, lords his “ intelligence” over us. He makes promises of things he will do for us or we will get together, do this or that, never happens. I have to make up lies to get back the money we loan him. Begging him to go to Disney with him and his wife, nothing. No….yes, it’s definitely a plan. I know it will not happen before their season passes run out. 😢 My husband….32 years married, I just don’t feel a connection with him anymore…..we used to be so close. I know he works full time and goes to college. He wants to sit around all week watching tv when he should be working on schoolwork, does nothing around the house unless I ask him to cut the grass. Even that I used to do as well. Waits until the very last minute to do his papers, usually pushing the midnight deadline and or later. Constantly fighting with him because none of this is his problem, just relax he says, don’t let it bother you so much. Well, when your the person who does everything for everyone, be it helping, listening, shoulder to cry on etc……..I am done. I have day dreams of living on my own and letting go of everyone in my life. I should not have to feel like this day in and day out. [/QUOTE]
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