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Substance Abuse
How will she ever manage to survive on her own?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 582308" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>Update - difficult child came over yesterday to do laundry and to get help in sorting out her bills. I had her bring all her bills for the past year, many that she never opened. She has an accordian folder marked with Utilities, Pay stubs, Medical Bills, Insurance, etc and she brought that too. We organized everything marking that was paid and when. </p><p></p><p>Trying out my new plan we rollplayed what she would say when calling the various companies she owed money to. The city that charged her a $25 penalty for underpaying her city taxes by $23 agreed to waive the charge. This was stupid anyway because she only made $9,000 last year and it was an error and she paid it as soon as they got the bill to her correct address and after she paid it they sent another bill with the penalty. I told her that she would just have to pay it if they wouldn't agree to removing it because she never wants to owe any taxes but she did a good job in explaining it and the woman agreed to remove the penalty.</p><p></p><p>The next bill was for the gas which she is over $200 past due and current bill brings it to $400. She had made payment arrangements but they never put it in the computer so she got a letter demanding full payment and an additional $83 deposit on top of the $110 deposit they already have. The service rep would not give in and told her she didn't stick to the original payment plan because she made it in seperate payments and paid more than she was suppose to. At that I had to take over, couldn't help myself. I pointed out to this idiot that I worked for the telephone company for 15 years and when we made payment arrangements with someone and they paid on time and paid more than they were suppose to we appaluded them and were very happy we could help them get back on track. I then asked to talk to her supervisor and she was gone for 10 minutes before she came back and said they figured out a way to remove the deposit????? When I asked how that way was she said they figured out how to remove it in the computer. I laughed and said I couldn't believe we were arguing over a computer entry and she would have been better to come back and tell me that they agreed to remove the deposit because difficult child was making the payments that were agreed upon. </p><p></p><p>There was much more to this conversation including her constantly interrupting me and telling me difficult child should apply for a government program called PIP that would limit her bills to a certain percentage of her salary. I just about lost it at this point and told her we already checked into that program and difficult child does not qualify and furthermore they would be charging her more under that program than her actual bills.</p><p></p><p>All in all difficult child did a good job and we talked about her not getting behind anymore and she agreed that trying to sort it out like this was difficult and she should have called the companies when she first fell behind.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how I knew how to handle bills and inquiries and such when I was her age. I just did. I paid attention to my parents and how they paid bills and how they managed their lives. I watched my mother iron and just started doing it. I learned how to stick a screwdriver in the carburator to unflood a car. I was so much more aware of things. I knew when things made sense and when they didn't and I wasn't afraid to advocate for myself. But then I didn't spend my entire adolescence and yougng adult life hiding things and running from people.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 582308, member: 59"] Update - difficult child came over yesterday to do laundry and to get help in sorting out her bills. I had her bring all her bills for the past year, many that she never opened. She has an accordian folder marked with Utilities, Pay stubs, Medical Bills, Insurance, etc and she brought that too. We organized everything marking that was paid and when. Trying out my new plan we rollplayed what she would say when calling the various companies she owed money to. The city that charged her a $25 penalty for underpaying her city taxes by $23 agreed to waive the charge. This was stupid anyway because she only made $9,000 last year and it was an error and she paid it as soon as they got the bill to her correct address and after she paid it they sent another bill with the penalty. I told her that she would just have to pay it if they wouldn't agree to removing it because she never wants to owe any taxes but she did a good job in explaining it and the woman agreed to remove the penalty. The next bill was for the gas which she is over $200 past due and current bill brings it to $400. She had made payment arrangements but they never put it in the computer so she got a letter demanding full payment and an additional $83 deposit on top of the $110 deposit they already have. The service rep would not give in and told her she didn't stick to the original payment plan because she made it in seperate payments and paid more than she was suppose to. At that I had to take over, couldn't help myself. I pointed out to this idiot that I worked for the telephone company for 15 years and when we made payment arrangements with someone and they paid on time and paid more than they were suppose to we appaluded them and were very happy we could help them get back on track. I then asked to talk to her supervisor and she was gone for 10 minutes before she came back and said they figured out a way to remove the deposit????? When I asked how that way was she said they figured out how to remove it in the computer. I laughed and said I couldn't believe we were arguing over a computer entry and she would have been better to come back and tell me that they agreed to remove the deposit because difficult child was making the payments that were agreed upon. There was much more to this conversation including her constantly interrupting me and telling me difficult child should apply for a government program called PIP that would limit her bills to a certain percentage of her salary. I just about lost it at this point and told her we already checked into that program and difficult child does not qualify and furthermore they would be charging her more under that program than her actual bills. All in all difficult child did a good job and we talked about her not getting behind anymore and she agreed that trying to sort it out like this was difficult and she should have called the companies when she first fell behind. I don't know how I knew how to handle bills and inquiries and such when I was her age. I just did. I paid attention to my parents and how they paid bills and how they managed their lives. I watched my mother iron and just started doing it. I learned how to stick a screwdriver in the carburator to unflood a car. I was so much more aware of things. I knew when things made sense and when they didn't and I wasn't afraid to advocate for myself. But then I didn't spend my entire adolescence and yougng adult life hiding things and running from people. [/QUOTE]
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