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How would you handle this one?
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 235447" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Steph, I'll be down that way. I'll take you on the bft with difficult child. LOL. </p><p></p><p>I think her level of comprehension is lagging behind her body. Most young girls bodies are more grown up than their minds. Unfortunately hormones are part of the maturing body and have nature's drive regardless of emotional maturity. Your difficult child has to make up more ground intellectually and emotionally than average. </p><p></p><p>Certainly you must have the talk about sex and baby making which is the physical part but more importantly. in my humble opinion, is the talk about self respect and deciding who is deserving of her special gift that can never be returned. It is appropriate at this tender age to talk about a special someone when she is much older and ready for a long term commitment that will require she be working and having a home of her own. </p><p>The ongoing conversation should be about her dreams for the future and how indiscriminate sex takes away from her dream. </p><p></p><p>Then the safety issue comes into play. She must know about being hurt if she doesn't stop and think what will happen if she follows instructions from someone who does not have her best interest in mind. Before she does anything a peer tells her in regards to behavior she has not done before she should check with you. It's her only safety net that may be simple enough for her to follow. The thought of her following a young man into an empty house where he or even more guys can hurt, beat, rape her is terrifying. </p><p></p><p>You don't want her scared of everyone and sex but you want her to be guarded and cautious for the next 5 to 8 years until her mind catches up to her body. </p><p></p><p>She needs to know that even though it feels funny or nice that there are steps she must master towards adulthood before she can follow those urges. She needs to be patient to find the right one who will treat her kindly and with respect. Not just guys who buy her things or say things but real building blocks to a healthy relationship. </p><p></p><p>Obviously this is a conversation that must be had frequently and repeatedly. Offering examples in real life or watching a movie together will help her visualize your teachings. Point out those examples frequently. </p><p></p><p>It will be a long drive in the bft. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 235447, member: 3"] Steph, I'll be down that way. I'll take you on the bft with difficult child. LOL. I think her level of comprehension is lagging behind her body. Most young girls bodies are more grown up than their minds. Unfortunately hormones are part of the maturing body and have nature's drive regardless of emotional maturity. Your difficult child has to make up more ground intellectually and emotionally than average. Certainly you must have the talk about sex and baby making which is the physical part but more importantly. in my humble opinion, is the talk about self respect and deciding who is deserving of her special gift that can never be returned. It is appropriate at this tender age to talk about a special someone when she is much older and ready for a long term commitment that will require she be working and having a home of her own. The ongoing conversation should be about her dreams for the future and how indiscriminate sex takes away from her dream. Then the safety issue comes into play. She must know about being hurt if she doesn't stop and think what will happen if she follows instructions from someone who does not have her best interest in mind. Before she does anything a peer tells her in regards to behavior she has not done before she should check with you. It's her only safety net that may be simple enough for her to follow. The thought of her following a young man into an empty house where he or even more guys can hurt, beat, rape her is terrifying. You don't want her scared of everyone and sex but you want her to be guarded and cautious for the next 5 to 8 years until her mind catches up to her body. She needs to know that even though it feels funny or nice that there are steps she must master towards adulthood before she can follow those urges. She needs to be patient to find the right one who will treat her kindly and with respect. Not just guys who buy her things or say things but real building blocks to a healthy relationship. Obviously this is a conversation that must be had frequently and repeatedly. Offering examples in real life or watching a movie together will help her visualize your teachings. Point out those examples frequently. It will be a long drive in the bft. :rofl: [/QUOTE]
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