HUGE step forward.....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Andy, Jun 4, 2009.

  1. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    difficult child faced a HUGE anxiety hurdle and conquered it tonight.

    To back track a little, he faced one on Tuesday that was also huge for him. His friend A's mom invited him to come over to play for a few hours before the boy's baseball game. I told her that I would drop him off and husband would pick him up at the game. When I told him of the plan, he went into a mini panic mode, "Mom, I have felt weird all day and now the "angel thing" is happening." Well, I could have taken the easy way out and called the mom back to say difficult child needed to rest before the game but I recognized the panic and decided we both needed to work on this. I gave difficult child a Xanax and a few minutes later as it started to work asked him to go through with this. He knows the family but has never been to their home for more than a few minutes to pick up/drop off A. The Xanax helped calm him down and he willingly went to play. He had a good time! :D

    That may have helped him with today's success. husband was running late getting home, difficult child had to be at the park at 5:00 for a ball game and I wanted to be at church by 5:00 for VBS. difficult child had the choice of going to A's house again but decided that he wanted me to drop him off. When we got to the park about 5:00, the coach was not there but a few kids on his team were. He does not know these kids yet! I decided to leave him there. He looked a tad nervous and told me he was somewhat nervous but did jump out of the car and ran over to his team members as I drove off. I called A's mom and asked that she check for difficult child when they got to the park and call me if he wasn't there (see, I am part of this separation problem but am working on setting up hidden safety nets to ease my mind without him knowing I am still connected). difficult child did very well - did not even need a Xanax to get through this one! (didn't have time to consider that an option - he was not panicking so I didn't give him one - just had to hold my breath that he didn't panic after I left!)

    I need to continue to provide these types of situations so that he will be ready to face his new school in the fall. I just have to make sure I don't push too much too fast. I can feel those cords that bind being cut away and though I miss my little difficult child, I know this will only strengthen him.
    (His voice has not changed so I still get to hear that beautiful little boy voice when I call home during the morning - funny how their phone voice is so much younger than in person.)
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    GOOD FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With all my anxiety problems as a kid, I can tell you, he was one brave boy!!!! :D
  3. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    Good for Him and good for you!
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Way to go, difficult child!
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Yay him!! and you!! it's not easy, you did a great job too mom!!
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Good for him!
    K and N went on a field trip to a pool with her "camp" and I worried the whole time.
    K was worried but N was worried something fierce!
    They both made also, it is so hard to watch our babies go through these things.

    The baby voice is so sweet
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    how wonderful!! I vividly remember times when my parents had to drop me off for something and couldn't stay due to work or whatever. I usually only knew a couple of kids on the team, the rest were from other Catholic schools.

    My heart would race, I could feel my pulse pounding, even wanted to vomit sometimes.

    But managing to make it through with-o getting visibly upset was one of my goals. It took some time but I learned how to make it through. Role playing with my mom to learn how to handle it was a huge help.

    I hope that you and difficult child can use how he was feeling during this to make future occasions less difficult for BOTH of you.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Terrific for difficult child-glad to hear he did so well!
  9. ML

    ML Guest

    This is awesome. I agree that it's time for us to teach these kids tools so they can become less dependent upon us. I find little things I do daily that I have to work on. For instance, when I took manster and his friend S skating he asked me to help take his skates off and I automatically started to and S said "M, you can't do that yourself?". She was right and I immediately stopped.

    I'm really proud of your difficult child and applaud this success and know that he will thrive as he continues to have them and knowing you are close behind as a safety net.