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Humpday blues
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 97880" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I think I may have one idea / explanation for you. </p><p></p><p>When my son was at his very "best" I was at my very lowest. Everyone around me knew if something didn't happen soon I would be back in the hospital and this time "who knows". The stress was literally killing me. </p><p></p><p>I had dealt with stress before - tons of it. Bad marriage, rotten kid, being without 'comforts', making due. I mean I lived a life so stressful it's a wonder I survived. So why when difficult child was placed outside our home did I not jump for joy, or celebrate like a wild woman? </p><p></p><p>Part of me was waiting for him to come back home. I mean every placement or helper, psychologist, doctor over and over again, have thrown their hands up in the air and given up - then sent him back home to live with us and start the process all over again. So partly in the deepest recesses of my mind I was imagining that this was temporary. </p><p></p><p>Another reason that there was no elation, jumping through the air or leaping for flowers was a lot of times after we endure such terrible stress, when it's over our body simply does not know how to react. We live in a fight or flight state so much that when there IS NO STRESS - we can often be sad (believe it or not) OR create our OWN stressful situations to try to replace the stress our bodies feel we "should" be going through. </p><p></p><p>I became part of both groups. But when I started making my own trouble? I told my psychiatric I really thought I was nuts. He told me it's very normal. Loosing something even while bad in your life still leaves a void. That void can cause sadness. </p><p></p><p>Hope this makes sense - and I was told that I was NOT nuts. Just too stressed to cope with life. It's an adjustment period - in the mean time? Don't be too hard on yourself and find a positive thing to fill the time. </p><p></p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 97880, member: 4964"] I think I may have one idea / explanation for you. When my son was at his very "best" I was at my very lowest. Everyone around me knew if something didn't happen soon I would be back in the hospital and this time "who knows". The stress was literally killing me. I had dealt with stress before - tons of it. Bad marriage, rotten kid, being without 'comforts', making due. I mean I lived a life so stressful it's a wonder I survived. So why when difficult child was placed outside our home did I not jump for joy, or celebrate like a wild woman? Part of me was waiting for him to come back home. I mean every placement or helper, psychologist, doctor over and over again, have thrown their hands up in the air and given up - then sent him back home to live with us and start the process all over again. So partly in the deepest recesses of my mind I was imagining that this was temporary. Another reason that there was no elation, jumping through the air or leaping for flowers was a lot of times after we endure such terrible stress, when it's over our body simply does not know how to react. We live in a fight or flight state so much that when there IS NO STRESS - we can often be sad (believe it or not) OR create our OWN stressful situations to try to replace the stress our bodies feel we "should" be going through. I became part of both groups. But when I started making my own trouble? I told my psychiatric I really thought I was nuts. He told me it's very normal. Loosing something even while bad in your life still leaves a void. That void can cause sadness. Hope this makes sense - and I was told that I was NOT nuts. Just too stressed to cope with life. It's an adjustment period - in the mean time? Don't be too hard on yourself and find a positive thing to fill the time. Star [/QUOTE]
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