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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 583094" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>I'm sorry I did not follow your posts earlier. I am usually in the substance abuse forum and I try to check other forums for substance abuse posts but I missed yours.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child was in a treatment center three years ago and it was 70 miles from our home. Every Suday they held family education day, sounds very similar to yours. The families were encouraged/expected to attend every Sunday while thier loved one was in the center. Of course travel restrictions prohibited some. Our daughter's counselor was in touch with us often and we could call her any time we had a question. That day was an important part of their therapy and it was intense. We left every Sunday completely drained emotionally and physically. Some days were good and some not so much. Saturday was visiting day so often we went on both days, that's about a 3 hour round trip. difficult child's counselor made it clear that it was not up to her whether we came. She didn't have to share but we were there for us ad it was important to our recovery. I can't tell you how valuable it was for us to experience the interaction between families.</p><p></p><p>I would encourage you to talk to his counselor. I'm sure he will address the situation with difficult child in their group sessions where he can get input from others. But I also encourage you to continue to go to the family education days whether he wants you there or not. After all is said and done he will know that you are there to support him. We bought into her recovery completely, attending all sessions, AA meetings, al-anon meetings, supported her in every way, we changed our lives, got rid of all alcohol, changed who we socialized with, everything for her recovery. It was an adjustment for sure but we were commited to doing our part. Even though in the end she relapsed several times and is no longer in recovery, she knows anytime she wants to go back into recovery we will be there supporting her in that effort.</p><p></p><p>It is difficult for our difficult child's to open up and share their feelings because for so long they have used substances to cover up their feelings. They have a saving in AA that in recovery you do what you are told by your sponsor, no questions asked, because their sponsors know what they need to stay sober. The longer he is in recovery the easier it will be for him to share his feelings. While he is getting there it is important for him to see you and husband share yours. My husband and I cried everytime we had our personal circle time, when difficult child saw that she broke down. It was the first time I ever saw real emotion come out of her.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry your visit was not as you hoped. I have been there done that and I did leave on Saturday visiting day because of her attitude, but the family education day was our chance to interact with counselors and difficult child and was extremely helpful. It is also important for your difficult child to experience all his feelings, even if they are uncomfortable, and deal with them in group. So the fact that he was uncomfortable sharing his feelings is something he needs to deals with and it's good that it came up.</p><p></p><p>This is a difficult time for everyone so it is important to be patient. Continue doing what you need for yourself, it woudl be very helpful to find a support group in your area. I have found Families Anonymous to be very helpful, and there are some al-anon groups that have helped me also.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 583094, member: 59"] I'm sorry I did not follow your posts earlier. I am usually in the substance abuse forum and I try to check other forums for substance abuse posts but I missed yours. My difficult child was in a treatment center three years ago and it was 70 miles from our home. Every Suday they held family education day, sounds very similar to yours. The families were encouraged/expected to attend every Sunday while thier loved one was in the center. Of course travel restrictions prohibited some. Our daughter's counselor was in touch with us often and we could call her any time we had a question. That day was an important part of their therapy and it was intense. We left every Sunday completely drained emotionally and physically. Some days were good and some not so much. Saturday was visiting day so often we went on both days, that's about a 3 hour round trip. difficult child's counselor made it clear that it was not up to her whether we came. She didn't have to share but we were there for us ad it was important to our recovery. I can't tell you how valuable it was for us to experience the interaction between families. I would encourage you to talk to his counselor. I'm sure he will address the situation with difficult child in their group sessions where he can get input from others. But I also encourage you to continue to go to the family education days whether he wants you there or not. After all is said and done he will know that you are there to support him. We bought into her recovery completely, attending all sessions, AA meetings, al-anon meetings, supported her in every way, we changed our lives, got rid of all alcohol, changed who we socialized with, everything for her recovery. It was an adjustment for sure but we were commited to doing our part. Even though in the end she relapsed several times and is no longer in recovery, she knows anytime she wants to go back into recovery we will be there supporting her in that effort. It is difficult for our difficult child's to open up and share their feelings because for so long they have used substances to cover up their feelings. They have a saving in AA that in recovery you do what you are told by your sponsor, no questions asked, because their sponsors know what they need to stay sober. The longer he is in recovery the easier it will be for him to share his feelings. While he is getting there it is important for him to see you and husband share yours. My husband and I cried everytime we had our personal circle time, when difficult child saw that she broke down. It was the first time I ever saw real emotion come out of her. I'm sorry your visit was not as you hoped. I have been there done that and I did leave on Saturday visiting day because of her attitude, but the family education day was our chance to interact with counselors and difficult child and was extremely helpful. It is also important for your difficult child to experience all his feelings, even if they are uncomfortable, and deal with them in group. So the fact that he was uncomfortable sharing his feelings is something he needs to deals with and it's good that it came up. This is a difficult time for everyone so it is important to be patient. Continue doing what you need for yourself, it woudl be very helpful to find a support group in your area. I have found Families Anonymous to be very helpful, and there are some al-anon groups that have helped me also. [/QUOTE]
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