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Hurt and angry...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 583112" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>(((((hugs)))))</p><p></p><p>I am sorry that you are hurting so. Nancy's advice that the family days are for the benefit of the FAMILY and not just the difficult child is exactly true. If you see any benefit to visiting or further family therapy, then go. If you don't, that's okay too. </p><p></p><p>Please stop and think about your 2nd paragraph and difficult child's age. You are willing to be his taxi around town but not to go visit. You say you are done. It seems inconsistent to be done with him and still take him to appointments, etc... This could send mixed messages to him and maybe it would be better to say you are done and he needs to find his own transportation from this point on. Each taxi ride gives him a chance to draw you into his mess. </p><p></p><p>At age 26, he should be able to find his way to where he needs to be. Not going to those places has consequences, and you are NOT responsible for those. If he wants to be somewhere bad enough, he will find a way. Given that his words and deeds seem to show he does not want a relationship with you, maybe it is time to let him have his way and miss you and all the benefits of the relationship, including a ride home from rehab or to meetings. Or maybe you could set up x free taxi rides from sober home to y meeting/z doctor per month. This would reduce contact and still give you some peace of mind that he can get to the dr or meetings. I would see if the taxi co would let you specify that the card is only good to certain addresses.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 583112, member: 1233"] (((((hugs))))) I am sorry that you are hurting so. Nancy's advice that the family days are for the benefit of the FAMILY and not just the difficult child is exactly true. If you see any benefit to visiting or further family therapy, then go. If you don't, that's okay too. Please stop and think about your 2nd paragraph and difficult child's age. You are willing to be his taxi around town but not to go visit. You say you are done. It seems inconsistent to be done with him and still take him to appointments, etc... This could send mixed messages to him and maybe it would be better to say you are done and he needs to find his own transportation from this point on. Each taxi ride gives him a chance to draw you into his mess. At age 26, he should be able to find his way to where he needs to be. Not going to those places has consequences, and you are NOT responsible for those. If he wants to be somewhere bad enough, he will find a way. Given that his words and deeds seem to show he does not want a relationship with you, maybe it is time to let him have his way and miss you and all the benefits of the relationship, including a ride home from rehab or to meetings. Or maybe you could set up x free taxi rides from sober home to y meeting/z doctor per month. This would reduce contact and still give you some peace of mind that he can get to the dr or meetings. I would see if the taxi co would let you specify that the card is only good to certain addresses. [/QUOTE]
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