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Hurting other kids-- It Happened Again!
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<blockquote data-quote="Running_for_the_shelter" data-source="post: 56247" data-attributes="member: 2960"><p>Hey, there! You don't "know" me; I haven't been on the site as much as I'd like lately. Just wanted to give you my vote of encouragement and good wishes. My little guy is 6.5 years and I'm watching every step. Yeah, it's depressing that my pals can just let their cubs go play in a pack and I have to watch mine every second because that fine line between having fun and acting inappropriately is crossed so readily. Although my son is bright, he's not yet able to have a serious conversation about anything. </p><p></p><p>One thing I found though -- all the explaining, discussing or even barking at the boy about issues doesn't work as well as one good visual or an article in the paper. Example: We had the run-across-the-street impulse more often than I can state. All those gentle explanations of getting hit by cars,the You're Going to Get Killed! yelling, the We're Going Home Now! consequences, etc. didn't get his attention nearly as well as a snarled "You run across the street like that and someday, a car is going to hit you and you'll be squished and I don't want a pancake-shaped boy, I want a boy-shaped boy!" I guess he liked the visual or something, because he followed that one through and understood that pancake-shaped boys don't play with their families or have candy or toys etc. Weird, but it was something for him to latch onto, I guess. </p><p></p><p>Then last summer, I showed him a story in the paper about a 5-year-old boy (his age then) who ran after an ice-cream truck and got hit by a car. I told him in a very sad voice that his family was very sad now that they didn't have their boy anymore and they missed him very much. I didn't say, That's going to be us someday if you don't stop running across the street, but the lesson actually sunk in. Just yesterday, he reminded me of the boy who got hit running after the ice-cream truck; I was surprised he remembered it after so long. He usually doesn't seem to remember anything from yesterday let alone a year. Anyway, he had the "pancake-shaped boy" visual + the ice cream truck boy to work with and it seems to have been the magic combination. Mind you, we still have running in the parking lot even though that results in pancake-shapedness as well; I guess I need to find a news story about that, too.</p><p></p><p>My little guy is on Lamictal and doing very well; the add-ons we tried for the impulsivity didn't do a thing (well, nothing positive, anyway) so we gave up on those. I haven't found the visual + story-he-can-relate-to combination for most social issues; I think it's because social situations are so variable and the triggers can be so subtle. I mean, he could (finally) get his head around "car barrelling down the road = pancake-shaped boy + sad family" but that's much harder to do with not whacking someone because they are being selfish with a ball.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, best wishes and good luck in finding ways that work for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Running_for_the_shelter, post: 56247, member: 2960"] Hey, there! You don't "know" me; I haven't been on the site as much as I'd like lately. Just wanted to give you my vote of encouragement and good wishes. My little guy is 6.5 years and I'm watching every step. Yeah, it's depressing that my pals can just let their cubs go play in a pack and I have to watch mine every second because that fine line between having fun and acting inappropriately is crossed so readily. Although my son is bright, he's not yet able to have a serious conversation about anything. One thing I found though -- all the explaining, discussing or even barking at the boy about issues doesn't work as well as one good visual or an article in the paper. Example: We had the run-across-the-street impulse more often than I can state. All those gentle explanations of getting hit by cars,the You're Going to Get Killed! yelling, the We're Going Home Now! consequences, etc. didn't get his attention nearly as well as a snarled "You run across the street like that and someday, a car is going to hit you and you'll be squished and I don't want a pancake-shaped boy, I want a boy-shaped boy!" I guess he liked the visual or something, because he followed that one through and understood that pancake-shaped boys don't play with their families or have candy or toys etc. Weird, but it was something for him to latch onto, I guess. Then last summer, I showed him a story in the paper about a 5-year-old boy (his age then) who ran after an ice-cream truck and got hit by a car. I told him in a very sad voice that his family was very sad now that they didn't have their boy anymore and they missed him very much. I didn't say, That's going to be us someday if you don't stop running across the street, but the lesson actually sunk in. Just yesterday, he reminded me of the boy who got hit running after the ice-cream truck; I was surprised he remembered it after so long. He usually doesn't seem to remember anything from yesterday let alone a year. Anyway, he had the "pancake-shaped boy" visual + the ice cream truck boy to work with and it seems to have been the magic combination. Mind you, we still have running in the parking lot even though that results in pancake-shapedness as well; I guess I need to find a news story about that, too. My little guy is on Lamictal and doing very well; the add-ons we tried for the impulsivity didn't do a thing (well, nothing positive, anyway) so we gave up on those. I haven't found the visual + story-he-can-relate-to combination for most social issues; I think it's because social situations are so variable and the triggers can be so subtle. I mean, he could (finally) get his head around "car barrelling down the road = pancake-shaped boy + sad family" but that's much harder to do with not whacking someone because they are being selfish with a ball. Anyway, best wishes and good luck in finding ways that work for you. [/QUOTE]
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