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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 764134" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>My daughter also has very little contact with my son. Her 2 children refuse to have any kind of contact. I completely understand and never ask them to and let them know well in advance if he will be some where they may be.</p><p></p><p>A few years ago I was at a hotel in Florida and invited my son, his current girlfriend, her 3 children to join me for lunch. People actually moved away from him and a couple stepped back from the elevator to not be near him. I don't think he noticed, but I did and it stabbed at my heart. He does look pretty rough, lol</p><p></p><p>My son was in gifted math and science. He has about 5 college level IT certifications along with a year long program for auto maintenance. He can't hold a job.</p><p></p><p>It's heart breaking. My son has ADHD, but I feel positive it's his continued drug use.</p><p></p><p>His long term 10 year relationship with another substance abuser was also a nightmare. She committed suicide age 39. He has been involved for 5 years with another lady and her 3 children. She was actually living on the streets with the children. I helped while also keeping my distance. They are apart at the moment, may get back together. I keep my distance because I feel she was using drugs with him.</p><p></p><p>It's so terribly difficult to watch our children get to this point. Every instinct in our fiber is screaming, NO DON'T DO IT, we will do everything in our power to fix 'IT' for them.</p><p></p><p>The problem is, they will gladly let us support them in every way as long as it's what they want to do and doesn't involve taking responsibility for their actions. In the process we grow older, more stressed, lose our retirement funds, and they just ask for more. Nothing we do is enough.</p><p></p><p>That's why you must read all you can, learn to detach, take care of yourself. It doesn't mean you stop loving them.</p><p></p><p>When I first started asking for help a member on another forum would post to all of the newbies, 'face the truth your idiot child is a loser'. I immediately left the forum, they are not losers, lol!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 764134, member: 13558"] My daughter also has very little contact with my son. Her 2 children refuse to have any kind of contact. I completely understand and never ask them to and let them know well in advance if he will be some where they may be. A few years ago I was at a hotel in Florida and invited my son, his current girlfriend, her 3 children to join me for lunch. People actually moved away from him and a couple stepped back from the elevator to not be near him. I don't think he noticed, but I did and it stabbed at my heart. He does look pretty rough, lol My son was in gifted math and science. He has about 5 college level IT certifications along with a year long program for auto maintenance. He can't hold a job. It's heart breaking. My son has ADHD, but I feel positive it's his continued drug use. His long term 10 year relationship with another substance abuser was also a nightmare. She committed suicide age 39. He has been involved for 5 years with another lady and her 3 children. She was actually living on the streets with the children. I helped while also keeping my distance. They are apart at the moment, may get back together. I keep my distance because I feel she was using drugs with him. It's so terribly difficult to watch our children get to this point. Every instinct in our fiber is screaming, NO DON'T DO IT, we will do everything in our power to fix 'IT' for them. The problem is, they will gladly let us support them in every way as long as it's what they want to do and doesn't involve taking responsibility for their actions. In the process we grow older, more stressed, lose our retirement funds, and they just ask for more. Nothing we do is enough. That's why you must read all you can, learn to detach, take care of yourself. It doesn't mean you stop loving them. When I first started asking for help a member on another forum would post to all of the newbies, 'face the truth your idiot child is a loser'. I immediately left the forum, they are not losers, lol! [/QUOTE]
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