Found this website about a month ago. It has certainly helped knowing a great many of you out there have or are experiencing this tragic dilemma of a wayward adult child. I most need help with detachment now, as it hurts so much to witness my 30 year old son go haywire.
He began using Marijuana in High School, and ended up dropping out of college in his junior year as he was not even going to classes. Over the past 10 years he has gone through 3 separate rehabs, the first for 3 months, the second for three weeks, and the third for 6 weeks. He came out of each getting back to working ( Uber and Food Delivery ) and renting a room, paying all his bills. I've always remained in communication with him during all this time. He wouldn't talk to his mother ( who I am divorced from ) and he constantly blamed us for all his issues, mostly her, but me also for letting him live with her. Which was his choice as he moved to her place in his HS sophomore year because she was liberal about him smoking weed.
Last fall his landlord sold the townhouse and he moved back in with his mother, now talking to her again. Beginning this spring, he began to talk to me about being under stress. He starting telling me about his prowess in the stock market where he has built a 5 figure portfolio. He quit his job, smoking more weed and drinking heavily, and about the beginning of June he just blew up at me and most relatives. Horrible name calling, accusations, cursing, endless texts, to the point I had to block his texts. He then notified me I was blocked. This went on for about 6 weeks, then he showed up begin released from a 72 hour psychiatric evaluation nearby. His mom let him back in, and that lasted for about 5 days. Another fight and she kicked him out. He has been wandering since, to different hotels. I learned that he has 'lent' his car to a friend, which he didn't seemed worried about. It has shown up in an auto pound after 20 days.
I am open to talking with him, but he constantly raises his voice at me, says he is my boss. I don't give him any money. He is delusional now, telling me he has 'secret' work. He tells me he is a 'stoner', likes to drink alcohol, and gamble. Seems his stock market is keeping him afloat now.
I have texted and talked with him in the past few days, telling him I don't agree with his life style, and that I can offer emotional support and advice if he asks. He responds that he is heading off and I may not hear from him for a long while. Never had suicidal nor violent behavior, so I must somehow let him go. Just hurts so much as he is a smart kid, good looking, but just on his own mission. I believe also with all his crazy texting to relatives, he has been written out of sizable inheritances.
I have followed many of the postings. Many sad stories and I sense all the pain and despair. I do find Copabanana writings very logical to follow. I am trying to listen to how she has 'detached' from her wayward son.
A
He began using Marijuana in High School, and ended up dropping out of college in his junior year as he was not even going to classes. Over the past 10 years he has gone through 3 separate rehabs, the first for 3 months, the second for three weeks, and the third for 6 weeks. He came out of each getting back to working ( Uber and Food Delivery ) and renting a room, paying all his bills. I've always remained in communication with him during all this time. He wouldn't talk to his mother ( who I am divorced from ) and he constantly blamed us for all his issues, mostly her, but me also for letting him live with her. Which was his choice as he moved to her place in his HS sophomore year because she was liberal about him smoking weed.
Last fall his landlord sold the townhouse and he moved back in with his mother, now talking to her again. Beginning this spring, he began to talk to me about being under stress. He starting telling me about his prowess in the stock market where he has built a 5 figure portfolio. He quit his job, smoking more weed and drinking heavily, and about the beginning of June he just blew up at me and most relatives. Horrible name calling, accusations, cursing, endless texts, to the point I had to block his texts. He then notified me I was blocked. This went on for about 6 weeks, then he showed up begin released from a 72 hour psychiatric evaluation nearby. His mom let him back in, and that lasted for about 5 days. Another fight and she kicked him out. He has been wandering since, to different hotels. I learned that he has 'lent' his car to a friend, which he didn't seemed worried about. It has shown up in an auto pound after 20 days.
I am open to talking with him, but he constantly raises his voice at me, says he is my boss. I don't give him any money. He is delusional now, telling me he has 'secret' work. He tells me he is a 'stoner', likes to drink alcohol, and gamble. Seems his stock market is keeping him afloat now.
I have texted and talked with him in the past few days, telling him I don't agree with his life style, and that I can offer emotional support and advice if he asks. He responds that he is heading off and I may not hear from him for a long while. Never had suicidal nor violent behavior, so I must somehow let him go. Just hurts so much as he is a smart kid, good looking, but just on his own mission. I believe also with all his crazy texting to relatives, he has been written out of sizable inheritances.
I have followed many of the postings. Many sad stories and I sense all the pain and despair. I do find Copabanana writings very logical to follow. I am trying to listen to how she has 'detached' from her wayward son.
A