Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Hurts so much
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 765243" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Won't this be better, that he has to find another place if she drinks? Your son is not homeless yet. There are places he can live, if he takes, action. He very well may step up.</p><p></p><p>My son has been homeless many years. He uses marijuana. I've tried everything, including buying a house for him. Not one thing that I do has helped. Only our adult children can help themselves.</p><p></p><p>Stop throwing money at him. Please. It does not help anything, from my experience.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry but I would want to see actual progress, not signs. He doesn't need more money or expensive treatment. There are AA and NA. When people want to stop using, 12-step groups are good.</p><p></p><p>We parents are in recovery, too. It is very difficult to accept that our children are on their own paths when they're self-destructive or living without dignity or purpose. But acceptance is the only thing that works. The rest is fantasy.</p><p></p><p>The thing is our children must experience the consequences of their choices to decide to make different ones. Many of us suffered as children due to parental choices or parental inadequacy. Your child needs to get to the point of accepting that he is the one who is making himself suffer. And that he can change that.</p><p></p><p>It is okay for you to be okay. I think this is the work we have to do. To be able to accept that our adult children are separate people who are responsible for themselves. It is not only our children who need to wake up and smell the coffee. We do too. We have the capacity to live well, even when they don't. And <em>living well</em> means without constant worry, fear, angst, and guilt.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes the Serenity Prayer is the only thing that gets us through. You're not alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 765243, member: 18958"] Won't this be better, that he has to find another place if she drinks? Your son is not homeless yet. There are places he can live, if he takes, action. He very well may step up. My son has been homeless many years. He uses marijuana. I've tried everything, including buying a house for him. Not one thing that I do has helped. Only our adult children can help themselves. Stop throwing money at him. Please. It does not help anything, from my experience. I am sorry but I would want to see actual progress, not signs. He doesn't need more money or expensive treatment. There are AA and NA. When people want to stop using, 12-step groups are good. We parents are in recovery, too. It is very difficult to accept that our children are on their own paths when they're self-destructive or living without dignity or purpose. But acceptance is the only thing that works. The rest is fantasy. The thing is our children must experience the consequences of their choices to decide to make different ones. Many of us suffered as children due to parental choices or parental inadequacy. Your child needs to get to the point of accepting that he is the one who is making himself suffer. And that he can change that. It is okay for you to be okay. I think this is the work we have to do. To be able to accept that our adult children are separate people who are responsible for themselves. It is not only our children who need to wake up and smell the coffee. We do too. We have the capacity to live well, even when they don't. And [I]living well[/I] means without constant worry, fear, angst, and guilt. Sometimes the Serenity Prayer is the only thing that gets us through. You're not alone. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Hurts so much
Top