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husband had an affair
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<blockquote data-quote="KFld" data-source="post: 70123" data-attributes="member: 2442"><p>I think the thing that kills me the most, and I really think he thought it would make the situation sound better???? was when he said he told her he would never leave me and he told me that also. What that says to me is that if I didn't catch him, he would have continued to see her, or if he didn't really like her, he'd eventually find someone else to fill that void. </p><p></p><p>He says things like he didn't find her, she found him. Like that makes a difference. He chose to be with her. </p><p></p><p>What he needs to understand is that if he had come to me after all these years of dealing with this issue and said, I really can't live like this anymore. I think we should separate and see if it's the answer and then he really thought about whether being with someone else is what he really needed, this could have gone a much different way. I don't fault people for there needs and I know you can't make anyone feel differently then they do, but I know there is a right and wrong way to decide what to do about it. Just as much as I can't help what I need and don't need, I don't fault him for what he needs. </p><p></p><p>I go see the counselor today at noon. I can't wait. The past two days we have gone through the motions in front of everyone, especially now that my dad is here and my entire family was over last night, and then we go to bed and don't even say goodnight. I just don't know what to say???? I need to get into counseling so I don't say the wrong things.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KFld, post: 70123, member: 2442"] I think the thing that kills me the most, and I really think he thought it would make the situation sound better???? was when he said he told her he would never leave me and he told me that also. What that says to me is that if I didn't catch him, he would have continued to see her, or if he didn't really like her, he'd eventually find someone else to fill that void. He says things like he didn't find her, she found him. Like that makes a difference. He chose to be with her. What he needs to understand is that if he had come to me after all these years of dealing with this issue and said, I really can't live like this anymore. I think we should separate and see if it's the answer and then he really thought about whether being with someone else is what he really needed, this could have gone a much different way. I don't fault people for there needs and I know you can't make anyone feel differently then they do, but I know there is a right and wrong way to decide what to do about it. Just as much as I can't help what I need and don't need, I don't fault him for what he needs. I go see the counselor today at noon. I can't wait. The past two days we have gone through the motions in front of everyone, especially now that my dad is here and my entire family was over last night, and then we go to bed and don't even say goodnight. I just don't know what to say???? I need to get into counseling so I don't say the wrong things. [/QUOTE]
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