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husband lied to me
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 407820" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>Since his biokids visit every other weekend (if I remember correctly) they are aware of the crisis mode your home is in. They most likely share with their Mom as kids should and most kids do. I know that when my kids came home from a visit I always asked "what's new at Dad's house" and "what did you guys do while you were gone". There was no way that I wanted them to censor knowledge of their lives and what impacted it...even though there were some issues from our home I would have preferred they not share I didn't want them to feel like they were in a position to hide info from either parent.</p><p> </p><p>You and your family have been under extreme stress. All the kids know most of what's going on even though they don't know details. Chances are their Mom is aware. Chances are she asked her Ex and even though he wanted to keep his word to you he felt it necessary to tell the truth.</p><p>Sadly, it appears to me, he opted not to upset you by sharing that truth with you. I'm sorry.</p><p> </p><p>I totally disagree with anyone who tells you to deep six your marriage as a result. You love the man. He is under tremendous stress with the business and at home trying to be the dependable one for you and all the kids. As a business owner who is barely getting by, worried about the very questionable state of the economy and it's impact on meeting basic financial needs...I get his issues. </p><p> </p><p>I also understand that you want to keep a sense of personal privacy and your disappointment in discovering his lie. But....I don't think it is reasonable to expect that he can filter all the troubles and make the right choice every time. He loves you. He loves your children and is extremely important to your difficult child. Find a way to come to peace, Jena. It's in your best interest, the kids best interest and your husband's best interest. Sending caring thoughts and hugs your way. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 407820, member: 35"] Since his biokids visit every other weekend (if I remember correctly) they are aware of the crisis mode your home is in. They most likely share with their Mom as kids should and most kids do. I know that when my kids came home from a visit I always asked "what's new at Dad's house" and "what did you guys do while you were gone". There was no way that I wanted them to censor knowledge of their lives and what impacted it...even though there were some issues from our home I would have preferred they not share I didn't want them to feel like they were in a position to hide info from either parent. You and your family have been under extreme stress. All the kids know most of what's going on even though they don't know details. Chances are their Mom is aware. Chances are she asked her Ex and even though he wanted to keep his word to you he felt it necessary to tell the truth. Sadly, it appears to me, he opted not to upset you by sharing that truth with you. I'm sorry. I totally disagree with anyone who tells you to deep six your marriage as a result. You love the man. He is under tremendous stress with the business and at home trying to be the dependable one for you and all the kids. As a business owner who is barely getting by, worried about the very questionable state of the economy and it's impact on meeting basic financial needs...I get his issues. I also understand that you want to keep a sense of personal privacy and your disappointment in discovering his lie. But....I don't think it is reasonable to expect that he can filter all the troubles and make the right choice every time. He loves you. He loves your children and is extremely important to your difficult child. Find a way to come to peace, Jena. It's in your best interest, the kids best interest and your husband's best interest. Sending caring thoughts and hugs your way. DDD [/QUOTE]
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