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husband lied to me
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 407851" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>hi</p><p> </p><p>he offered to go to therapy and you are 100% right, the trust issue we have has absolutely nothing to do with any kid. yet the stress, financial loss, all that does as we know. your right also i dont trust him 100% to me there are averages there. he's the guy i dooo trust with my kids. he's the guy i can trust to pay the bills, be here when i need him or a kid needs him. according to him the 10 things he does right should be enough to keep loving him and work on it if he does 2 wrong.</p><p> </p><p>yet to me there are lines, boundaries that are being crossed by both. i know him and i knew he was lying. i even said to him i had a strong feeling you were sitting there texting your ex wife. he said no i wasnt. lie again. so i tried the logical approach, i truly did. i even mentioned last night to him while talking i still think your EX had some hand in cps. another opportunity for him to anti up, confess. still he chose the lie. to him it's easier i stay calm, he does what he does and all's well until yes i SNOOP. is it something i do everyday? not at all. have i done it in the past 2 years yes about 4 times and 3 times out of 4 i was right he was bsing me.</p><p> </p><p>why did he marry me? i asked him that prior to the marriage why are you marrying me? his answer because i love you, and i want to be with you, i want you in my life everyday and go down the road with you.</p><p> </p><p>made a huge dramatic speech (very unlike him) at our wedding had the entire place and myself in literal tears. he began with i met you and i was hurt, lost, and totally down and out yet i found my way and you helped me find my way. i'm ready now to leave my past behind me and be your best friend through our life together your a great mom and a great person we're def. different yet we always find our way and on and on it went. a whole page of it!</p><p> </p><p>was i wrong for going in phone, yea i stooped down, yet i had to confirm what i thought i knew or tell myself i'm totally paranoid. i'm still really mad at him, i have no clue how i'm giong to keep it calm with him and be decent and like a wife the next week till we go. the therapist is off next week i just found out.</p><p> </p><p> i did therapy up till i got back from portland can't find a new one here for me yet. therapy was great i dont' need to heal to assist him in not lying. he needs to break the connection with-his ex that is in my opinion distorted and if he can't thru therapy get what he's doing than it'll be time for me to make a choice. i know what i want, who i am and what i'm willing to take. this isnt' it. so yea i'll calm down and not bring more drama into my home by kicking him out right now. yet also we'll c what therapy brings because i will not ever be ok and i told him since day one with him paling out with-his ex with whom bashes me to the kids, his family, him and has been eagerly trying Occupational Therapist (OT) break us up since day one. yet laid back a bit because i do get how hard divorce and changing habits can be, i gave him some leeway. that's done with-now for me. i don't want to be a third wheel, afraid of what i'll tell him will he tell her. no, not for me at all. am i being dramatic? maybe yet that's who i am, and honestly i will feel that way afraid to share with-him afraid of what he'll tell her.</p><p> </p><p>no way to live. my challenge will be over the next week besides dealing with-continuing on path with kids getting them straightened out is keeping my mouth shut with-him not reacting when he's talking to his ex and biting my tongue till it bleeds. i have to be honest i can control my anger well yet certain things trigger me something awful and lying is one of them. now knowing his ex knows all about this sickens me.</p><p> </p><p>iw anted to ask him to stay at his dad's for a week yet than i thought of the repercussions that would have on my healing home. and i chose not to. yet it's going to be really hard to be around him the following week.</p><p> </p><p>i</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 407851, member: 4514"] hi he offered to go to therapy and you are 100% right, the trust issue we have has absolutely nothing to do with any kid. yet the stress, financial loss, all that does as we know. your right also i dont trust him 100% to me there are averages there. he's the guy i dooo trust with my kids. he's the guy i can trust to pay the bills, be here when i need him or a kid needs him. according to him the 10 things he does right should be enough to keep loving him and work on it if he does 2 wrong. yet to me there are lines, boundaries that are being crossed by both. i know him and i knew he was lying. i even said to him i had a strong feeling you were sitting there texting your ex wife. he said no i wasnt. lie again. so i tried the logical approach, i truly did. i even mentioned last night to him while talking i still think your EX had some hand in cps. another opportunity for him to anti up, confess. still he chose the lie. to him it's easier i stay calm, he does what he does and all's well until yes i SNOOP. is it something i do everyday? not at all. have i done it in the past 2 years yes about 4 times and 3 times out of 4 i was right he was bsing me. why did he marry me? i asked him that prior to the marriage why are you marrying me? his answer because i love you, and i want to be with you, i want you in my life everyday and go down the road with you. made a huge dramatic speech (very unlike him) at our wedding had the entire place and myself in literal tears. he began with i met you and i was hurt, lost, and totally down and out yet i found my way and you helped me find my way. i'm ready now to leave my past behind me and be your best friend through our life together your a great mom and a great person we're def. different yet we always find our way and on and on it went. a whole page of it! was i wrong for going in phone, yea i stooped down, yet i had to confirm what i thought i knew or tell myself i'm totally paranoid. i'm still really mad at him, i have no clue how i'm giong to keep it calm with him and be decent and like a wife the next week till we go. the therapist is off next week i just found out. i did therapy up till i got back from portland can't find a new one here for me yet. therapy was great i dont' need to heal to assist him in not lying. he needs to break the connection with-his ex that is in my opinion distorted and if he can't thru therapy get what he's doing than it'll be time for me to make a choice. i know what i want, who i am and what i'm willing to take. this isnt' it. so yea i'll calm down and not bring more drama into my home by kicking him out right now. yet also we'll c what therapy brings because i will not ever be ok and i told him since day one with him paling out with-his ex with whom bashes me to the kids, his family, him and has been eagerly trying Occupational Therapist (OT) break us up since day one. yet laid back a bit because i do get how hard divorce and changing habits can be, i gave him some leeway. that's done with-now for me. i don't want to be a third wheel, afraid of what i'll tell him will he tell her. no, not for me at all. am i being dramatic? maybe yet that's who i am, and honestly i will feel that way afraid to share with-him afraid of what he'll tell her. no way to live. my challenge will be over the next week besides dealing with-continuing on path with kids getting them straightened out is keeping my mouth shut with-him not reacting when he's talking to his ex and biting my tongue till it bleeds. i have to be honest i can control my anger well yet certain things trigger me something awful and lying is one of them. now knowing his ex knows all about this sickens me. iw anted to ask him to stay at his dad's for a week yet than i thought of the repercussions that would have on my healing home. and i chose not to. yet it's going to be really hard to be around him the following week. i [/QUOTE]
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