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husband lied to me
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 408370" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>wow i now think that all of you should do some marriage/relationship advice column. Marg that was very deep too and cool stuff you wrote. i totally get your point and yes i do need to relax a bit. i have i'm slowly calming down.</p><p> </p><p>i def need some work too in this dept. she is extremely overwhelming and it's just a whole lotta drama i don't want or need in my life between the endless texts him saying whys she texting me and on and on we go. than her turning the kids against him and i both. we actually lost the oldest due to mom's manipulation. so it's all just very sad also.</p><p> </p><p>i came into this with an open heart and ready to love all these people. even met with-the ex in the beginning told her please these are "your" children i will always respect you as their mom if you ever need help with-them anything i can do just let me know i'm all in. maybe that was wrong. husband told me how vile she is, how maniuplative and deceptive she can be. he said she's giong to come after you something awful, and she has.</p><p> </p><p>it's like her pt job of sorts she's even gotten on phone and bashed me to his family that doesnt' really talk to me. she's done so much hard work to ruin us and why? she already hurt him years ago why would she want to ruin his chance at happiness? also he is a weak man of sorts when it comes to ppl needing from him. it's part of what makes him him. he cant' say no to anyone which is probably why we're broke each mos. he gives car insurance money to young kids that work for him, loans you name it.</p><p> </p><p>yet i think someone mentioned his self worth kinda thing lies with-her or something.? i think there's a dynamic there with-her that he just can't wrap his head around a strong control issue alot of verbal abuse and well he still jumps to her a sort of pattern. iknow he'll never be back with-her in any way shape sort etc. yet he also doesn't get why he does what he does and openly admits it by stating is that wrong to answer to her why he have a new puppy give her a recipe at midnight? i said yea it's kinda inappropriate.</p><p> </p><p>i said you gotta talk about kids i get it there's 3 of them, yet the us stuff shouldnt' be a topic of conversation at all, ever. our life is private in that sense and truly none of her business. he's proud of the fact that thru the years he's learned to grown away from her manipulation and control. it used to be very bad in the beginning i dont' know how i made it this far.</p><p> </p><p>we would go out to dinner and i'd hear him on the phone in the bathroom she'd call to ask how dinner went?! he'd answer yes this was long ago. we'd move our first big move years ago from his small apt. she called to tell him how she loved him etc he sat on the phone for an hr with her! i could go on and on yet you get the idea.</p><p> </p><p>she is super controlling needs to be the center at any cost also highly abusive to her kids i've come to learn also. i said to him once why'd you stay? he said well i was young didnt' know any better and so i forgave her each time and tried to work thru it. i said the man i know today god forbid i hurt a kid you would sit me down and say ok you need alot of help.</p><p> </p><p>this is a woman who broke her oldests thumb i just recently learned when she was 3 and giving her a bath because she was being difficult. she's slapped kids faces, broken their toys. she sounds like she was quite the volatile insane person to live with.</p><p> </p><p>i have protected myself from her past two years. on holidays i used to keep kids, i used to keep them in the summer mornings etc. yet i had to deal with-her because they had to be dropped off or picked up. she'd always create a scene of some sort. either yelling at a kid hitting them texting me too much. such drama we didn't need. difficult child didnt' need it bigtime. so after i saw that happen a handful of times i sadly tell the kids now i'm sorry guys i can't keep you. it's sad yet it keeps meout of the line of fire so to speak.</p><p> </p><p>therapies next monday on difficult child's birthday actually. time will tell if we can find a resolution to it all or if we're meant to. i'm just happy easy child's doing alot better and difficult child' will always be her yet i have more control now over her behaviors</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 408370, member: 4514"] wow i now think that all of you should do some marriage/relationship advice column. Marg that was very deep too and cool stuff you wrote. i totally get your point and yes i do need to relax a bit. i have i'm slowly calming down. i def need some work too in this dept. she is extremely overwhelming and it's just a whole lotta drama i don't want or need in my life between the endless texts him saying whys she texting me and on and on we go. than her turning the kids against him and i both. we actually lost the oldest due to mom's manipulation. so it's all just very sad also. i came into this with an open heart and ready to love all these people. even met with-the ex in the beginning told her please these are "your" children i will always respect you as their mom if you ever need help with-them anything i can do just let me know i'm all in. maybe that was wrong. husband told me how vile she is, how maniuplative and deceptive she can be. he said she's giong to come after you something awful, and she has. it's like her pt job of sorts she's even gotten on phone and bashed me to his family that doesnt' really talk to me. she's done so much hard work to ruin us and why? she already hurt him years ago why would she want to ruin his chance at happiness? also he is a weak man of sorts when it comes to ppl needing from him. it's part of what makes him him. he cant' say no to anyone which is probably why we're broke each mos. he gives car insurance money to young kids that work for him, loans you name it. yet i think someone mentioned his self worth kinda thing lies with-her or something.? i think there's a dynamic there with-her that he just can't wrap his head around a strong control issue alot of verbal abuse and well he still jumps to her a sort of pattern. iknow he'll never be back with-her in any way shape sort etc. yet he also doesn't get why he does what he does and openly admits it by stating is that wrong to answer to her why he have a new puppy give her a recipe at midnight? i said yea it's kinda inappropriate. i said you gotta talk about kids i get it there's 3 of them, yet the us stuff shouldnt' be a topic of conversation at all, ever. our life is private in that sense and truly none of her business. he's proud of the fact that thru the years he's learned to grown away from her manipulation and control. it used to be very bad in the beginning i dont' know how i made it this far. we would go out to dinner and i'd hear him on the phone in the bathroom she'd call to ask how dinner went?! he'd answer yes this was long ago. we'd move our first big move years ago from his small apt. she called to tell him how she loved him etc he sat on the phone for an hr with her! i could go on and on yet you get the idea. she is super controlling needs to be the center at any cost also highly abusive to her kids i've come to learn also. i said to him once why'd you stay? he said well i was young didnt' know any better and so i forgave her each time and tried to work thru it. i said the man i know today god forbid i hurt a kid you would sit me down and say ok you need alot of help. this is a woman who broke her oldests thumb i just recently learned when she was 3 and giving her a bath because she was being difficult. she's slapped kids faces, broken their toys. she sounds like she was quite the volatile insane person to live with. i have protected myself from her past two years. on holidays i used to keep kids, i used to keep them in the summer mornings etc. yet i had to deal with-her because they had to be dropped off or picked up. she'd always create a scene of some sort. either yelling at a kid hitting them texting me too much. such drama we didn't need. difficult child didnt' need it bigtime. so after i saw that happen a handful of times i sadly tell the kids now i'm sorry guys i can't keep you. it's sad yet it keeps meout of the line of fire so to speak. therapies next monday on difficult child's birthday actually. time will tell if we can find a resolution to it all or if we're meant to. i'm just happy easy child's doing alot better and difficult child' will always be her yet i have more control now over her behaviors [/QUOTE]
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