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husband not handling this well...
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<blockquote data-quote="nvts" data-source="post: 370090" data-attributes="member: 3814"><p>Hi Ladies! Trust me! You're singing a song that most of us have down in 3 part harmony (the scary part is that we're harmonizing WITH OURSELVES!). </p><p> </p><p>My husband (whom I often refer to as AH - draw your own conclusions <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" />) , went through this even before we had kids. Once we had difficult child 1 and eventually the other 2, I worked full time, 2 hour commute from 7-3:30. I shopped, cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, took care of the dogs, mowed the lawn and changed the oil on my car. He worked 15 mins away, and dropped the kids off on his way to work and picked them up. I wouldn't leave the house in the a.m. until I had the kids breakfast and lunch and snacks packed, change of clothes, diaper bag for difficult child 2 and 3. AH would then get up, take a 30 min. shower and then come down and yell at them to get their coats on (they were 4, 3 and 1.5 years old). When they got home, I'd fuss over their projects, wash faces and hands and get dinner on while he went to the bathroom (45 minute expedition - how the heck can you SIT in there without a circle on your butt I will never know!) and then complain about what was for dinner.</p><p> </p><p>He would or would not eat and then have a wicked headache, stomach was bothering him, didn't sleep well the night before, yadda-yadda-ya. I would entertain the kids, go over notices, do the dishes, feed the dogs, break up the fights and handle whatever the meltdown of the day was about.</p><p> </p><p>We separated in April. 15 years down the old tubes. Personally? I think it happened because I stopped pleading my case. After a while I got totally apathetic. He got away with murder and I seethed on the inside.</p><p> </p><p>Lesson? Don't suffer in silence - if you have to yell, kick and scream - do it. One-upmanship never works. Tell him "yeah, I know you have a hard day, oh boo-hoo, now, will you help me with this?"</p><p> </p><p>My Dad served in Korea. He was army through and through. One day, my sister was whining and complaining (every minute of every day if you let her!), and he turned around and said "my drill sargent told us that if we want sympathy you can find it in the dictionary somewhere between - well, let's say between two not so nice things. (the line actually is used in "Major Paine" with Damon Wayan - which ironically is about a bunch of misunderstood kids being led by a misunderstood Drill Sargent at a private school). That's what I'd <strong><em><u>LOVE</u></em></strong> to say to her right now!"<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /></p><p> </p><p>If they want sympathy - give 'em a couple 3 minutes and then repeat that you need help! </p><p> </p><p>You might want to pop over to the Watercooler Forum with issues like this. You'd get TONS more responses on this subject!</p><p> </p><p>Feel better ladies! </p><p> </p><p>Beth</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nvts, post: 370090, member: 3814"] Hi Ladies! Trust me! You're singing a song that most of us have down in 3 part harmony (the scary part is that we're harmonizing WITH OURSELVES!). My husband (whom I often refer to as AH - draw your own conclusions :winking:) , went through this even before we had kids. Once we had difficult child 1 and eventually the other 2, I worked full time, 2 hour commute from 7-3:30. I shopped, cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, took care of the dogs, mowed the lawn and changed the oil on my car. He worked 15 mins away, and dropped the kids off on his way to work and picked them up. I wouldn't leave the house in the a.m. until I had the kids breakfast and lunch and snacks packed, change of clothes, diaper bag for difficult child 2 and 3. AH would then get up, take a 30 min. shower and then come down and yell at them to get their coats on (they were 4, 3 and 1.5 years old). When they got home, I'd fuss over their projects, wash faces and hands and get dinner on while he went to the bathroom (45 minute expedition - how the heck can you SIT in there without a circle on your butt I will never know!) and then complain about what was for dinner. He would or would not eat and then have a wicked headache, stomach was bothering him, didn't sleep well the night before, yadda-yadda-ya. I would entertain the kids, go over notices, do the dishes, feed the dogs, break up the fights and handle whatever the meltdown of the day was about. We separated in April. 15 years down the old tubes. Personally? I think it happened because I stopped pleading my case. After a while I got totally apathetic. He got away with murder and I seethed on the inside. Lesson? Don't suffer in silence - if you have to yell, kick and scream - do it. One-upmanship never works. Tell him "yeah, I know you have a hard day, oh boo-hoo, now, will you help me with this?" My Dad served in Korea. He was army through and through. One day, my sister was whining and complaining (every minute of every day if you let her!), and he turned around and said "my drill sargent told us that if we want sympathy you can find it in the dictionary somewhere between - well, let's say between two not so nice things. (the line actually is used in "Major Paine" with Damon Wayan - which ironically is about a bunch of misunderstood kids being led by a misunderstood Drill Sargent at a private school). That's what I'd [B][I][U]LOVE[/U][/I][/B] to say to her right now!":rofl::rofl::rofl: If they want sympathy - give 'em a couple 3 minutes and then repeat that you need help! You might want to pop over to the Watercooler Forum with issues like this. You'd get TONS more responses on this subject! Feel better ladies! Beth [/QUOTE]
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