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husband not handling this well...
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<blockquote data-quote="SRL" data-source="post: 370105" data-attributes="member: 701"><p>Times like this tend to surface the worst aspects of a couples' marriage--those things that might have been irritants or stressors on a regular family's marriage can be disastrous when you have a difficult child in the house. Whatever is going on now probably isn't new, it's just been made worse because your job is more demanding.</p><p> </p><p>You may not be able to control some things in this (like difficult child needing constant supervision or your husband's work schedule), but it's imperative that you make some changes in what you can control and get enough sleep so exhaustion doesn't set in and make the whole situation worse. I saw it happen to my own mom who was a single parent and it was devestating to the family. Both emotional and physical health is highly dependent on sleep.</p><p> </p><p>Decide right here and now that you aren't going to play the "My job's harder than your job." with husband. Let him know you're done playing the game and that if he isn't willing to make some changes to keep the household functional, then you will. If he can't/won't go, arrange counseling as support for yourself. I don't know about you, but pasting on a smile and letting him think you're getting 10 hours of beauty sleep and listening to comments about the house would lead to bitterness in me in a hurry.</p><p> </p><p>Start asking yourself: What can you do to simplify your life so you get more than 3-4 hours of sleep per night? </p><p> </p><p>Hire someone--even a teen could run errands, grocery shop a list, help with housework, or entertain kids while you work at home. You don't have to do it all and if husband won't help, find someone who will</p><p> </p><p>Ask a friend to help with errands. A friend did this for me when we were going through a rough stage. Once a week she'd show up for my list, etc and take care of whatever I needed--return library books, videos, go to that store where I maybe just needed one thing. It was a huge help.</p><p> </p><p>Use a lot of paper plates and disposables</p><p> </p><p>Rethink your laundry strategy. Could some things go a little longer? Towels or pj's be reused?</p><p> </p><p>Take a hard look at what is sucking up time during the day. If it's picking up toys, bundle some up. If you need to do more babyproofing, do it. Pack away non-essentials that need extra dusting. </p><p> </p><p>Think "crisis mode". If this were a crisis time in my life, what could I do to simplify, what could we live without?</p><p> </p><p>Look into resources that the army may have for supporting families--I have no clue what's out there if anything but thought I'd toss it in.</p><p> </p><p>You will feel a lot better if you can find ways to control what you can, instead of feeling like you have no control over all of this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SRL, post: 370105, member: 701"] Times like this tend to surface the worst aspects of a couples' marriage--those things that might have been irritants or stressors on a regular family's marriage can be disastrous when you have a difficult child in the house. Whatever is going on now probably isn't new, it's just been made worse because your job is more demanding. You may not be able to control some things in this (like difficult child needing constant supervision or your husband's work schedule), but it's imperative that you make some changes in what you can control and get enough sleep so exhaustion doesn't set in and make the whole situation worse. I saw it happen to my own mom who was a single parent and it was devestating to the family. Both emotional and physical health is highly dependent on sleep. Decide right here and now that you aren't going to play the "My job's harder than your job." with husband. Let him know you're done playing the game and that if he isn't willing to make some changes to keep the household functional, then you will. If he can't/won't go, arrange counseling as support for yourself. I don't know about you, but pasting on a smile and letting him think you're getting 10 hours of beauty sleep and listening to comments about the house would lead to bitterness in me in a hurry. Start asking yourself: What can you do to simplify your life so you get more than 3-4 hours of sleep per night? Hire someone--even a teen could run errands, grocery shop a list, help with housework, or entertain kids while you work at home. You don't have to do it all and if husband won't help, find someone who will Ask a friend to help with errands. A friend did this for me when we were going through a rough stage. Once a week she'd show up for my list, etc and take care of whatever I needed--return library books, videos, go to that store where I maybe just needed one thing. It was a huge help. Use a lot of paper plates and disposables Rethink your laundry strategy. Could some things go a little longer? Towels or pj's be reused? Take a hard look at what is sucking up time during the day. If it's picking up toys, bundle some up. If you need to do more babyproofing, do it. Pack away non-essentials that need extra dusting. Think "crisis mode". If this were a crisis time in my life, what could I do to simplify, what could we live without? Look into resources that the army may have for supporting families--I have no clue what's out there if anything but thought I'd toss it in. You will feel a lot better if you can find ways to control what you can, instead of feeling like you have no control over all of this. [/QUOTE]
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