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husband not handling this well...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 370275" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>You need strong ground rules.</p><p></p><p>No comparisons.</p><p></p><p>No blame.</p><p></p><p>Difficult kids just happen. Marriage soon stops being roses around the cottage door and Stepford wives. It IS possible to keep the romance happening, but when it becomes a competition in any ay, instead of a cooperative venture, you have problems. I suspect your husband wants the roses around the cottage door and sex every night at bedtime with a wife who has the time and energy to be passionate. He needs to know it's not that easy but not in any "You haven't a clue, buster!" kind of way unless you have no choice (as when he begins to whine at 3 am!)</p><p></p><p>If you can get him to lurk here, it might help a great deal. But if you're going to get him to lurk here, always stay aware of what you post. </p><p></p><p>My husband began lurking here, then sometimes posted under my sig but identified himself as "Marg's Man". Then it began to cause me some confusion because I sometimes missed updates because the site thought I had already visited threads that he had looked at but not me. So I made him join in his own right. He doesn't post a lot but he lurks every day, reads what I write and if he has a problem with it, we talk about it. Generally though, we found he would come home and say, "When you wrote it all down like that, it made a lot more sense than when we tried to discuss it while the kids kept interrupting."</p><p></p><p>Good luck with it all.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 370275, member: 1991"] You need strong ground rules. No comparisons. No blame. Difficult kids just happen. Marriage soon stops being roses around the cottage door and Stepford wives. It IS possible to keep the romance happening, but when it becomes a competition in any ay, instead of a cooperative venture, you have problems. I suspect your husband wants the roses around the cottage door and sex every night at bedtime with a wife who has the time and energy to be passionate. He needs to know it's not that easy but not in any "You haven't a clue, buster!" kind of way unless you have no choice (as when he begins to whine at 3 am!) If you can get him to lurk here, it might help a great deal. But if you're going to get him to lurk here, always stay aware of what you post. My husband began lurking here, then sometimes posted under my sig but identified himself as "Marg's Man". Then it began to cause me some confusion because I sometimes missed updates because the site thought I had already visited threads that he had looked at but not me. So I made him join in his own right. He doesn't post a lot but he lurks every day, reads what I write and if he has a problem with it, we talk about it. Generally though, we found he would come home and say, "When you wrote it all down like that, it made a lot more sense than when we tried to discuss it while the kids kept interrupting." Good luck with it all. Marg [/QUOTE]
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