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Substance Abuse
I am afraid of my 19 year old sons temper
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 750753" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Misty, Al Anon is for us, not the addict. As Wise said. It is a program of recovery for those who deal with addiction, because addiction is a family illness, and it teaches us how WE can live better. Basically it teaches us that our lives have become unmanageable as we try everything to help fix the addict. And in the first three steps we begin accepting that we are powerless and need to stop the craziness. Intellectually, I bought this early on, but it took me a long time to practice letting go. </p><p></p><p>You will find no magic fix for the addict/ mentally ill person/dysfunctional person whom you are trying to save. There IS no such thing, no magic bullet. The person has to do it. We are not in control. We are told to give the person to a power bigger than us. For my husband and I, God is a huge part of our lives so that is our go to. Atheists use higher powers such as the ocean or wise people they trust who are smart about addiction. It can be anything but it can not be you. We love them but can not fix or control them or even guide them if they reject our help. Most adults want to make their own choices. Drug use, including alcohol and pot, and sometimes untreated mental illness can kill your loved ones soul so that the person is abusive to us. It is not about us. It is about their illness. It still hurts us, but it is not true about us. </p><p></p><p>We didn't cause it, we cant control it and we can't cure it. The three C's. And we can not make anyone get the proper help to get well.</p><p></p><p>So if you go to Al Anon expect to work on you, not your person. That is what Al Anon is about. Our recovery. We cant fix another person, whether its Mom, an uncle, a spouse, a friend or a beloved child.</p><p></p><p>I love the program. So does my husband. We also are both in Mindfulness therapy and are studying Radical Acceptance. These concepts are in my opinion powerful and worth looking up in books sold on Amazon or even just videos on Youtube.</p><p></p><p>Focusing on us is what my husband and I have been doing since we have had an upturn of peace in our lives. Kay is very sick. Trying to fix her just made us sick and broke along with her and did not help her at all.</p><p></p><p>I wish you well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 750753, member: 23706"] Misty, Al Anon is for us, not the addict. As Wise said. It is a program of recovery for those who deal with addiction, because addiction is a family illness, and it teaches us how WE can live better. Basically it teaches us that our lives have become unmanageable as we try everything to help fix the addict. And in the first three steps we begin accepting that we are powerless and need to stop the craziness. Intellectually, I bought this early on, but it took me a long time to practice letting go. You will find no magic fix for the addict/ mentally ill person/dysfunctional person whom you are trying to save. There IS no such thing, no magic bullet. The person has to do it. We are not in control. We are told to give the person to a power bigger than us. For my husband and I, God is a huge part of our lives so that is our go to. Atheists use higher powers such as the ocean or wise people they trust who are smart about addiction. It can be anything but it can not be you. We love them but can not fix or control them or even guide them if they reject our help. Most adults want to make their own choices. Drug use, including alcohol and pot, and sometimes untreated mental illness can kill your loved ones soul so that the person is abusive to us. It is not about us. It is about their illness. It still hurts us, but it is not true about us. We didn't cause it, we cant control it and we can't cure it. The three C's. And we can not make anyone get the proper help to get well. So if you go to Al Anon expect to work on you, not your person. That is what Al Anon is about. Our recovery. We cant fix another person, whether its Mom, an uncle, a spouse, a friend or a beloved child. I love the program. So does my husband. We also are both in Mindfulness therapy and are studying Radical Acceptance. These concepts are in my opinion powerful and worth looking up in books sold on Amazon or even just videos on Youtube. Focusing on us is what my husband and I have been doing since we have had an upturn of peace in our lives. Kay is very sick. Trying to fix her just made us sick and broke along with her and did not help her at all. I wish you well. [/QUOTE]
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I am afraid of my 19 year old sons temper
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