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I am at my wits end with this child! :P Please help.
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<blockquote data-quote="SnowYs" data-source="post: 381499"><p>I don't know but this is the 3rd night of her bs. Sorry it is incredibly frustrating. She is such a manipulative disrespectful child. You can not give her one inch without her trying to resort to negotiating, sneaking getting her way. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/sick.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sick:" title="sick :sick:" data-shortname=":sick:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/sad-very.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sad-very:" title="sad-very :sad-very:" data-shortname=":sad-very:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/whiteflag.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":whiteflag:" title="whiteflag :whiteflag:" data-shortname=":whiteflag:" /></p><p></p><p>Not even 8 days ago we threw a big birthday bash at the local roller rink. We shelled out $200 bucks for this party. I have known this child 3 years and not one year has her mother wanted to plan her school friends birthday party. Every year I spend time money on a child who just expects it. She for the longest time has complained, "I dont want to go with mom. Mom's mean." Well I guess the cards have turned because now she is wanting to spend Halloween with the mom (which would be our evening). </p><p></p><p> The evening went well up until bedtime. We tryed the mom's suggestion of rewards. So since homework was completed we went out for frozen yoghurt with candy toppings. She also earned computer time since she completed homework.</p><p></p><p> But this is not enough for this child. The rules have been clearly layed out and she does not want to adhere to them. She wants to be the boss. The mom said when Vanessa snaps back with attitude, she asks her if she knows she is acting disrespectful. Well the mom says she always answers no. Well tonight this child was being rude to her younger sister and her father and screamed back that "Yes I know."</p><p></p><p>Bedtime is bedtime, not drawing or talking time. But no she again trys to sneak a binder into bed, she trys to pretend her wrist hurts so she can try to sneak it behind her back. </p><p></p><p>My husband called the mom because she claims Nez never talks back to her. Well here Vanessa thinks she can do what she wants because she said while we were all talking on the phone that "The rules should be different here." And I made it clear, they will be as much the same at both places. </p><p></p><p>Vanessa's mom does subscribe to the theory that this angry child is Vanessa's personality and we just have to accept it. This manipulative bossy child is her and we can't change it stop it etc. And part of it may be, but if we all just "accept" this as the mom is saying she has - aren't we just lining her up to be more bossy more manipulative more out of control as she gets older? I do think being served on by your great grandma for so many years has set up unreal expectations. This child will not be able to hold a job on the path she is following, will be lucky if she makes it to high school on the path she is choosing. Apparently this is the same theory that was applied to the girls Uncle. I did learn tonight the girls Uncle is considered "slow" and only has a job because he was placed in it by an organization. But there is no actual diagnosis on what is wrong with him.</p><p></p><p>We emailed her doctor but have not gotten a response yet. I am sending another message over in hopes that they can evaluate for a mood disorder or this odd which I think she has.</p><p></p><p>I was feeling very positive after the earlier messages but again this child has made me angry and negative feeling towards her behaviours. I would like to read this book recommended, but I feel the problem is everyone is too easy on her. I guess Im pulling the tough love card.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SnowYs, post: 381499"] I don't know but this is the 3rd night of her bs. Sorry it is incredibly frustrating. She is such a manipulative disrespectful child. You can not give her one inch without her trying to resort to negotiating, sneaking getting her way. :sick::sad-very::whiteflag: Not even 8 days ago we threw a big birthday bash at the local roller rink. We shelled out $200 bucks for this party. I have known this child 3 years and not one year has her mother wanted to plan her school friends birthday party. Every year I spend time money on a child who just expects it. She for the longest time has complained, "I dont want to go with mom. Mom's mean." Well I guess the cards have turned because now she is wanting to spend Halloween with the mom (which would be our evening). The evening went well up until bedtime. We tryed the mom's suggestion of rewards. So since homework was completed we went out for frozen yoghurt with candy toppings. She also earned computer time since she completed homework. But this is not enough for this child. The rules have been clearly layed out and she does not want to adhere to them. She wants to be the boss. The mom said when Vanessa snaps back with attitude, she asks her if she knows she is acting disrespectful. Well the mom says she always answers no. Well tonight this child was being rude to her younger sister and her father and screamed back that "Yes I know." Bedtime is bedtime, not drawing or talking time. But no she again trys to sneak a binder into bed, she trys to pretend her wrist hurts so she can try to sneak it behind her back. My husband called the mom because she claims Nez never talks back to her. Well here Vanessa thinks she can do what she wants because she said while we were all talking on the phone that "The rules should be different here." And I made it clear, they will be as much the same at both places. Vanessa's mom does subscribe to the theory that this angry child is Vanessa's personality and we just have to accept it. This manipulative bossy child is her and we can't change it stop it etc. And part of it may be, but if we all just "accept" this as the mom is saying she has - aren't we just lining her up to be more bossy more manipulative more out of control as she gets older? I do think being served on by your great grandma for so many years has set up unreal expectations. This child will not be able to hold a job on the path she is following, will be lucky if she makes it to high school on the path she is choosing. Apparently this is the same theory that was applied to the girls Uncle. I did learn tonight the girls Uncle is considered "slow" and only has a job because he was placed in it by an organization. But there is no actual diagnosis on what is wrong with him. We emailed her doctor but have not gotten a response yet. I am sending another message over in hopes that they can evaluate for a mood disorder or this odd which I think she has. I was feeling very positive after the earlier messages but again this child has made me angry and negative feeling towards her behaviours. I would like to read this book recommended, but I feel the problem is everyone is too easy on her. I guess Im pulling the tough love card. [/QUOTE]
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I am at my wits end with this child! :P Please help.
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