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I am finally not doing this anymore. Please help?
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 748490" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>I agree that she likely has mental illness or is using drugs. And if she's using drugs it's likely to self-medicate whatever mental health issues she has. But the bottom line is that you can't force her to get mental health treatment, take medications, or go to rehab no matter what's going on with her. I also believe this would be a good time for a break for you. It will be a reset for your relationship and give you time to focus on what you should be focusing on- your own health and happiness. As I have relayed I have taken several breaks from my daughter, one of at least a year. At first it was difficult for several reasons: I was codependent and spent a huge amount of time and energy focusing on her so I didn't know what to do with myself, I missed my granddaughter, and I had to come to terms with my own issues since I could no longer focus on someone else's. But those breaks were very good for both of us and I have learned to keep my focus on myself (for the most part, I have better or worse days, I'm human!). The time and space also gave me some objectivity and helped me see my part in some of the issues. I loved to make passive aggressive statements to my daughter about her past behaviors or mistakes I saw her making, under the guise of being helpful. All I was doing was putting a match to kindling and setting off those horrible arguments. After I came to terms with that and focused on myself it made communicating with my daughter easier since I no longer felt the need to point out mistakes I saw her making or relive past issues. Once my focus was truly on myself I was able to let her live her life as she saw fit and stop my attempts to control her. I learned to create my own peace of mind and to maintain that no matter what chaos ensues around me. The early days are hard, so throw yourself into projects and do whatever you need to do to stay busy and stay in your own lane! Sending peace to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 748490, member: 11235"] I agree that she likely has mental illness or is using drugs. And if she's using drugs it's likely to self-medicate whatever mental health issues she has. But the bottom line is that you can't force her to get mental health treatment, take medications, or go to rehab no matter what's going on with her. I also believe this would be a good time for a break for you. It will be a reset for your relationship and give you time to focus on what you should be focusing on- your own health and happiness. As I have relayed I have taken several breaks from my daughter, one of at least a year. At first it was difficult for several reasons: I was codependent and spent a huge amount of time and energy focusing on her so I didn't know what to do with myself, I missed my granddaughter, and I had to come to terms with my own issues since I could no longer focus on someone else's. But those breaks were very good for both of us and I have learned to keep my focus on myself (for the most part, I have better or worse days, I'm human!). The time and space also gave me some objectivity and helped me see my part in some of the issues. I loved to make passive aggressive statements to my daughter about her past behaviors or mistakes I saw her making, under the guise of being helpful. All I was doing was putting a match to kindling and setting off those horrible arguments. After I came to terms with that and focused on myself it made communicating with my daughter easier since I no longer felt the need to point out mistakes I saw her making or relive past issues. Once my focus was truly on myself I was able to let her live her life as she saw fit and stop my attempts to control her. I learned to create my own peace of mind and to maintain that no matter what chaos ensues around me. The early days are hard, so throw yourself into projects and do whatever you need to do to stay busy and stay in your own lane! Sending peace to you. [/QUOTE]
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I am finally not doing this anymore. Please help?
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