I am getting tougher

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ML, Feb 24, 2009.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    I have come to believe that in an effort to "pick my battles" I have let manster slide on too much. I've allowed his meltdowns to have too much power and subsequently I haven't pushed him enough to do the things he isn't comfortable with. I've been getting better and tonight I feel like I won some kind of victory. His friend R had plans with family tonight and couldn't go with us to swimming lessons. In the past I've allowed him to skip when this has happened when they used to do Taekwando together. So as I held my ground and was called names that escalated from "meanie" to words that I'd get censored for, I visualized headphones as was mentioned from a fellow wise warrior. I know he was scared and that he had worked himself up into hysteria but that part of it was a control issue. He has been to swimming several times, does know the kids despite his pleas that he doesn't know anyone. I did not allow myself to rescue him from his discomfort.

    We made it to the pool and he was fine and had a great lesson as I knew he would. My prayer is that the longer I turn a deaf ear to his meltdowns (unless of course it's for a more valid reason) the less he will use them to manipulate me. Please G-d let it ge so.

    I have made so many parenting mistakes over the years and know I'll make more. But just for tonight it feels good to know I did my job as a parent and get to join the mean moms club (which means I'm doing my job).

    Thanks for reading.

  2. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Good for you. Those imaginary headphones work well, especially if they are playing really loud music (for me its Skynyrd) in your ear.
  3. C.J.

    C.J. New Member

    I found that I had to drag N* into nearly everything (school, volunteer work, church, dance lessons, art instruction, bath tub) and once there, when she was having a good time, I had to drag her out of everything when I was ready to go...LOL.
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Way to go, ML!!

    Good for you!


  5. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Oh I have so been there done that. I have been known to turn the radio up really loud while in the car. Hugs, and good job. I think it would be different if they had a horrible time while they were at the activity.
  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Way To Go! :warrior:
  7. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    That does sound great, I think I will steal the imaginary headphone idea as well!
  8. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Good for you girl! It does feel good to take some control back. Enjoy it! :)
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    My Mom sent me foam earplugs - and I gotta tell ya - they are SOP in my car even today with Dude at 18.

    -they ALSO make shopping at Walmart a pleasure. ;)

    Sending you some parental gorilla glue so you can continue to do good things and stand your ground....

    WAY TO GO MOM!!!
  10. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I love the imaginary headphone idea... I think I'm going to steal it too! I do have my MP3 player and do turn it up, but it's not always at hand... Skynyrd's good! I'm thinking Queensryche.