Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I am just LIVID!!!!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 312776" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'd go to the school, talk to whoever chaperoned and also ask to view the permission note. Dump her right in it - she did the wrong thing, the school were not to know, you were not to know. But the school needs to know about this.</p><p></p><p>THis is a matter for you - it was YOUR signature forged, she lied to you; plus it is a matter for the school, since parental permission was not gained but sneaked.</p><p></p><p>A question - how comew you knew about the excursion, but hadn't yourself signed a permission slip? Did she tell you that you had signed it but had forgotten?</p><p></p><p>A suggestion for the future - have a large wall planner. On it you write the details of homework, assignments, excursions etc. Tick the excurions for the times you have personally signed the permission notes. Keep your own file copies of the permission notes (maybe get the school to email details so you have email file notes). And do not allow her to attend any ecursion for which you can't satisfy yourself that YOU signed the permission forms.</p><p></p><p>The reason there si a paper trail and the reason the schools keep copies, is just for such eventualities.</p><p></p><p>As for those boys - try to find out who they are. Let them know of the legal ramifications involved in taking out a girl without parental permission. Be prepared to give them the benefit of the doubt - she may have lied to them, too (although I doubt it - she could have bragged to them. Although, "nah, my mom is cool about this," makes her seem very mature and adult in their eyes. Or at least, that coud be how she was thinking).</p><p></p><p>Don't automatically assume they got up to anything they shouldn't have. However, you COULD ask her if going to all that trouble lying to you, lying to the school etc was worth the end result. I hope her time with those boys was really exciting and enjoyable, to justify such a high level of deceit.</p><p></p><p>I would also tell the boys - if they want to see your daughter, they now will have to do it under your supervision because there is no way this kid will get out on a leash any time soon. But of course they are welcome to drop in and pay a correct, formal, "yes, we have now been formally introduced" visit. Cucumber sandwiches, cups of tea iin bone china, everybody sitting ramrod straight upright and talking politely about the weather and people's health.</p><p></p><p>Any boy worth his salt will respect this. Any boy out for what he can get in terms of fast thrills will walk away. And they are the ones you WANT to walk away.</p><p></p><p>Be careful about anybody (the school, the boys, your daughter) seeing you as the ogre here - that will only add to the cachet of the bad thing she did and make it seem justified. But if you come across as a concerned parent who was deceived even though you're not an ogre, then she looks all bad (your aim).</p><p></p><p>So let them visit. Formally. With calling card (name, phone number, address). Then allow her to call on tem (with you chaperoning) so you can meet their parents.</p><p>Chances are, such a proposal will have any casually-minded boy heading for the hills. But it will boost your daughter in the eyes of the right boys and their parents.</p><p></p><p>If she's interested in boys you can't put that genie back in the bottle. But you can point te genie in a better direction...</p><p></p><p>Not fun.</p><p></p><p>I remember a girl I knew who used to do this - she would lie to the boys about her age, tell us all thtaof course she was way more mature than other 13 year olds, then hang around on the corner to meet with various boys. I went to a different shcool and so my bus would get in later than hers, so I would see her waiting there, or already talking to the boys. I would be polite and social and a few times I put my foot in it and reminded her, "But of course, you and I are only 13," after which she hissed at me to shut up, then would avoid having anything to do with me if she saw me heading in her direction. I was so naive I didn't realise what she was up to back then!</p><p></p><p>A boy who thinks a girl is older will have certain expectations, and when he finds out he's been lied to, he generally won't be happy with the girl. Boys who want sex may be careless, but others are trying to be very careful to not do anything illegal.</p><p></p><p>Honesty is always the best policy. She's blown it thoroughly. </p><p></p><p>Both barrels. Tell the world. It's hard to be deceptive when everyone knows about it.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 312776, member: 1991"] I'd go to the school, talk to whoever chaperoned and also ask to view the permission note. Dump her right in it - she did the wrong thing, the school were not to know, you were not to know. But the school needs to know about this. THis is a matter for you - it was YOUR signature forged, she lied to you; plus it is a matter for the school, since parental permission was not gained but sneaked. A question - how comew you knew about the excursion, but hadn't yourself signed a permission slip? Did she tell you that you had signed it but had forgotten? A suggestion for the future - have a large wall planner. On it you write the details of homework, assignments, excursions etc. Tick the excurions for the times you have personally signed the permission notes. Keep your own file copies of the permission notes (maybe get the school to email details so you have email file notes). And do not allow her to attend any ecursion for which you can't satisfy yourself that YOU signed the permission forms. The reason there si a paper trail and the reason the schools keep copies, is just for such eventualities. As for those boys - try to find out who they are. Let them know of the legal ramifications involved in taking out a girl without parental permission. Be prepared to give them the benefit of the doubt - she may have lied to them, too (although I doubt it - she could have bragged to them. Although, "nah, my mom is cool about this," makes her seem very mature and adult in their eyes. Or at least, that coud be how she was thinking). Don't automatically assume they got up to anything they shouldn't have. However, you COULD ask her if going to all that trouble lying to you, lying to the school etc was worth the end result. I hope her time with those boys was really exciting and enjoyable, to justify such a high level of deceit. I would also tell the boys - if they want to see your daughter, they now will have to do it under your supervision because there is no way this kid will get out on a leash any time soon. But of course they are welcome to drop in and pay a correct, formal, "yes, we have now been formally introduced" visit. Cucumber sandwiches, cups of tea iin bone china, everybody sitting ramrod straight upright and talking politely about the weather and people's health. Any boy worth his salt will respect this. Any boy out for what he can get in terms of fast thrills will walk away. And they are the ones you WANT to walk away. Be careful about anybody (the school, the boys, your daughter) seeing you as the ogre here - that will only add to the cachet of the bad thing she did and make it seem justified. But if you come across as a concerned parent who was deceived even though you're not an ogre, then she looks all bad (your aim). So let them visit. Formally. With calling card (name, phone number, address). Then allow her to call on tem (with you chaperoning) so you can meet their parents. Chances are, such a proposal will have any casually-minded boy heading for the hills. But it will boost your daughter in the eyes of the right boys and their parents. If she's interested in boys you can't put that genie back in the bottle. But you can point te genie in a better direction... Not fun. I remember a girl I knew who used to do this - she would lie to the boys about her age, tell us all thtaof course she was way more mature than other 13 year olds, then hang around on the corner to meet with various boys. I went to a different shcool and so my bus would get in later than hers, so I would see her waiting there, or already talking to the boys. I would be polite and social and a few times I put my foot in it and reminded her, "But of course, you and I are only 13," after which she hissed at me to shut up, then would avoid having anything to do with me if she saw me heading in her direction. I was so naive I didn't realise what she was up to back then! A boy who thinks a girl is older will have certain expectations, and when he finds out he's been lied to, he generally won't be happy with the girl. Boys who want sex may be careless, but others are trying to be very careful to not do anything illegal. Honesty is always the best policy. She's blown it thoroughly. Both barrels. Tell the world. It's hard to be deceptive when everyone knows about it. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I am just LIVID!!!!
Top