I start off each day thinking it will be a better day. Then, difficult child will just say something and set me off. I totally have been losing control. husband sits right there as difficult child talks back, or talks down to me. He has 20+ missing assignments, and if I ask him to work on his homework (I'll catch him on-line playing a game) he yells at me. husband says, how many hours do you want him to work in it? I say until it's done, he should of done them in the first place. husband says mean things to me. I feel as if they do not want me there. I ask either / both to do things and they always say no, but they will do the same with each other. I find myself behind the closed door of my room crying myself to sleep. I want to be a part of difficult child's life. I don't want to blow up at him. I feel bad when I do, but each new day difficult child will say something and it just sets me off. then I find myself saying things I don't mean. things that are just not very nice. Then I retreat again to my room. If I can sleep, then it just can't hurt as much. I miss my son. But I really don't think he wants me around.