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I am new here, and at my wits end with 16 year old NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 400458" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Re the combative attitude - read the book. It shows you a different way of handling things that avoids the combat and puts more responsibility back onto the child.</p><p></p><p>As for the ants - I didn't let them in. I didn't know about the jellybeans. The ants found their way in (we live in wilderness) and the natural consequences were, an ant plague plus ruined jellybeans. Can't eat jellybean remains when they taste of formic acid!</p><p></p><p>I know how to get rid of ant plagues. It's tedious, but it can be done. The most important thing is to deny them food and water. We had to stop leaving glass of water beside the bed, and go to bottles of water with tight-fitting lids.</p><p></p><p>I missed the bit about selling the horse - I wouldn't do that, unless your reasons relate to the horse in some way. For example, if part of the deal was, she has to look after the horse and she is not. In which case - sell the horse. But don't sell the horse because she lied or cheated about a game or movie.</p><p></p><p>Consequences need to be connected. For example, my girls' room was messy. I might fold the washing, but the girls did not put it away properly. The day might come where they would want to wear a favourite dress, only to find it crumpled on the floor of their room. Natural consequences, which THEY have to resolve. They then have to iron their own dress and wear it knowing it smells of being trampled for weeks.</p><p></p><p>NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) vs Asperger's - I think opinions vary from place to place. I do know girls are very difficult to diagnose with Asperger's because they present differently. While I am giving you reading assignments (!) look up Tony Attwood and read what he says about Asperger's, especially in girls.</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile - get the book. I know, I'm nagging. You will understand why.</p><p></p><p>If you want a quick preview, Early Childhood forum has a sticky on adapting Explosive Child for younger children.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 400458, member: 1991"] Re the combative attitude - read the book. It shows you a different way of handling things that avoids the combat and puts more responsibility back onto the child. As for the ants - I didn't let them in. I didn't know about the jellybeans. The ants found their way in (we live in wilderness) and the natural consequences were, an ant plague plus ruined jellybeans. Can't eat jellybean remains when they taste of formic acid! I know how to get rid of ant plagues. It's tedious, but it can be done. The most important thing is to deny them food and water. We had to stop leaving glass of water beside the bed, and go to bottles of water with tight-fitting lids. I missed the bit about selling the horse - I wouldn't do that, unless your reasons relate to the horse in some way. For example, if part of the deal was, she has to look after the horse and she is not. In which case - sell the horse. But don't sell the horse because she lied or cheated about a game or movie. Consequences need to be connected. For example, my girls' room was messy. I might fold the washing, but the girls did not put it away properly. The day might come where they would want to wear a favourite dress, only to find it crumpled on the floor of their room. Natural consequences, which THEY have to resolve. They then have to iron their own dress and wear it knowing it smells of being trampled for weeks. NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) vs Asperger's - I think opinions vary from place to place. I do know girls are very difficult to diagnose with Asperger's because they present differently. While I am giving you reading assignments (!) look up Tony Attwood and read what he says about Asperger's, especially in girls. Meanwhile - get the book. I know, I'm nagging. You will understand why. If you want a quick preview, Early Childhood forum has a sticky on adapting Explosive Child for younger children. Marg [/QUOTE]
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I am new here, and at my wits end with 16 year old NonVerbal Learning Disorder (NVLD) daughter
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