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I am officially on strike
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 201880" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Please don't hit me but ... IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!! Wynter has abused you for at least the past year. It is well past time for you to take your life back. Wynter thinks she is your equal, partly because you've been willing to let her discuss things with you and partly because it is the nature of her beast. It is time for her to discover you are her mother, not her buddy. And if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!</p><p> </p><p>Devon is basically a good kid, just being a typical selfish teen. Maybe he needs to understand that his priorities are (1) school and homework, (2) chores at home, (3) work, (4) socializing. Once the first 3 are accomplished, then he can hang with his friends and girl friend. If they want to help him with home chores so he can go play, fine. Otherwise, he does them first.</p><p> </p><p>Hon, I know it is hard when you're as sick as you are -- it takes a lot of energy to parent teens. On top of that, there is the guilt because you're not healthy and you know it adds to their burdens. However, that is what a family is all about. Families help each other. They sacrifice. Yes, parents sacrifice more than kids but sometimes kids have to step up to the plate and put the home and family before their own wants. </p><p> </p><p>You give so much to both of your kids. They need to help you. Period. End of conversation.</p><p> </p><p>Since Wynter thinks you're such a mean mom, maybe it is time to let her see just how mean you really can be. No more of the good stuff until she starts helping when asked (without any grousing), no more non-stop arguments, no more whining when she can't have what she wants. JUST NO MORE! (I wish I'd learned this one when mine was 13. I didn't figure it out until she was 17. I could saved myself a lot of grief had I been the mean mom she thought I was.)</p><p> </p><p>Now, this doesn't mean being cruel, vindictive or even selfish. It just means that if you ask for something, it happens. If it doesn't, you do nothing until it does happen. If there s complaining, etc., then it doesn't count as having been done and nothing happens until the next time. You ask nicely once. If you have to ask the second time, the please is gone (you're even allowed to snap at 2nd request). The third time means a loss of a privilege.</p><p> </p><p>Devon goes back to losing privileges for being late or not answering his phone. And, no, you don't care that he didn't hear it ring. You called, it shows on his phone that you called. The problem is his, not yours. Ditto for not doing what is asked. And too bad if he's tired. Tell him he can take it as a lesson on adulthood -- we all do a lot of things we are too tired to do when we're done with work, etc.</p><p> </p><p>Okay, now that I've written my novella, I want you to know I'm proud of you. Stand on those two feet of yours (with or without the 4-footed cane) and quit letting your kids step on them to get their way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 201880, member: 3626"] Please don't hit me but ... IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!! Wynter has abused you for at least the past year. It is well past time for you to take your life back. Wynter thinks she is your equal, partly because you've been willing to let her discuss things with you and partly because it is the nature of her beast. It is time for her to discover you are her mother, not her buddy. And if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! Devon is basically a good kid, just being a typical selfish teen. Maybe he needs to understand that his priorities are (1) school and homework, (2) chores at home, (3) work, (4) socializing. Once the first 3 are accomplished, then he can hang with his friends and girl friend. If they want to help him with home chores so he can go play, fine. Otherwise, he does them first. Hon, I know it is hard when you're as sick as you are -- it takes a lot of energy to parent teens. On top of that, there is the guilt because you're not healthy and you know it adds to their burdens. However, that is what a family is all about. Families help each other. They sacrifice. Yes, parents sacrifice more than kids but sometimes kids have to step up to the plate and put the home and family before their own wants. You give so much to both of your kids. They need to help you. Period. End of conversation. Since Wynter thinks you're such a mean mom, maybe it is time to let her see just how mean you really can be. No more of the good stuff until she starts helping when asked (without any grousing), no more non-stop arguments, no more whining when she can't have what she wants. JUST NO MORE! (I wish I'd learned this one when mine was 13. I didn't figure it out until she was 17. I could saved myself a lot of grief had I been the mean mom she thought I was.) Now, this doesn't mean being cruel, vindictive or even selfish. It just means that if you ask for something, it happens. If it doesn't, you do nothing until it does happen. If there s complaining, etc., then it doesn't count as having been done and nothing happens until the next time. You ask nicely once. If you have to ask the second time, the please is gone (you're even allowed to snap at 2nd request). The third time means a loss of a privilege. Devon goes back to losing privileges for being late or not answering his phone. And, no, you don't care that he didn't hear it ring. You called, it shows on his phone that you called. The problem is his, not yours. Ditto for not doing what is asked. And too bad if he's tired. Tell him he can take it as a lesson on adulthood -- we all do a lot of things we are too tired to do when we're done with work, etc. Okay, now that I've written my novella, I want you to know I'm proud of you. Stand on those two feet of yours (with or without the 4-footed cane) and quit letting your kids step on them to get their way. [/QUOTE]
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