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Parent Emeritus
I am so FED UP and DISGUSTED
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 434492" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>Honestly, this is a tough situation. Getting evidence illegally is probably not the best approach and could get you in alot of trouble. I think the best approach is to talk to the girls quietly when you are alone with them. Just tell them that you love them and that they can tell you anything and you will still love them. Then give them a warm hug, change the subject and do something that makes them giggle (no tickling!). Just that no more and repeat it at every opportune occasion. Eventually they will start opening up. When kids are being abused they are afraid to speak out. Sometimes they think they are at fault, or that they will be taken away and be even more mistreated. They often think they are the bad ones and that they will be punished. They feel guilty or think that no one wil beleive them. All because they have be programed by their abuser to feel this way. Abused children have no trust for people but usually they are drawn to one person. That person is someone they do not feel threatened by, someone they think is kind and smart enough to know how to help them. </p><p> </p><p> Play therapy is a good thing if you can afford it but I am guessing not. This other approach I outlined will take a little longer but will cost nothing but your effort. I fostered several sexually abused children. They exhibited all kinds of behaviors that clue the vigilant observer in to their abuse. Your gut is probably reacting to these clues. </p><p> </p><p>The other thing that I did once when DSS was not moving on a situation was to call my senator's office. Yes it is extreme but you never know they could be helpful. In my case the senator had been raised in foster care himself so it hit a chord and he moved fast. Of course DSS was livid with me but it worked. -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 434492, member: 2315"] Honestly, this is a tough situation. Getting evidence illegally is probably not the best approach and could get you in alot of trouble. I think the best approach is to talk to the girls quietly when you are alone with them. Just tell them that you love them and that they can tell you anything and you will still love them. Then give them a warm hug, change the subject and do something that makes them giggle (no tickling!). Just that no more and repeat it at every opportune occasion. Eventually they will start opening up. When kids are being abused they are afraid to speak out. Sometimes they think they are at fault, or that they will be taken away and be even more mistreated. They often think they are the bad ones and that they will be punished. They feel guilty or think that no one wil beleive them. All because they have be programed by their abuser to feel this way. Abused children have no trust for people but usually they are drawn to one person. That person is someone they do not feel threatened by, someone they think is kind and smart enough to know how to help them. Play therapy is a good thing if you can afford it but I am guessing not. This other approach I outlined will take a little longer but will cost nothing but your effort. I fostered several sexually abused children. They exhibited all kinds of behaviors that clue the vigilant observer in to their abuse. Your gut is probably reacting to these clues. The other thing that I did once when DSS was not moving on a situation was to call my senator's office. Yes it is extreme but you never know they could be helpful. In my case the senator had been raised in foster care himself so it hit a chord and he moved fast. Of course DSS was livid with me but it worked. -RM [/QUOTE]
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I am so FED UP and DISGUSTED
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