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I am so glad to find you..
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 311920" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>treasalin - </p><p></p><p>Hi and welcome to the family. Over the years I have respectfully and lovingly called this board my family for a number of reasons. Many may think it's a put-on or a false sort of "love", but when you have been shunned by all of your pseudo friends and have practically no family left that stands by you or understands you and then find a group of total strangers that do not judge you, berate you, chastise you or leave you? They become family and you begin to love them and cherish them. This family here (Our Board Family) has never made me feel unwelcomed, or like a freak, or pushed my son away in any shape or fashion. My so-called friends in the real world? Wow - I have nearly none left and don't make new ones or allow many people into my world because it's just too heartbreaking or tiring to explain WHY my life is chaotic at times or HOW I know about the things I do. </p><p></p><p>I tell newcomers like you all the same thing with tongue in cheek, but I mean this from the bottom of my very large heart. The fact that my son has cut the majority of the friends I had from the herd? I'm glad!! If they had been true and good friends from the get-go? They would still be my friends regardless of what came down the pike with me or him. The fact that they bailed on us citing that it would be a poor influence on THEIR children is a sad excuse. THEY could STILL BE MY FRIEND and have left THEIR children out of OUR relationship. (SEE?) They didn't need to drag THEIR kids to MY house to meet ME for a cup of coffee or they didn't need to have THEIR kids present during a phone call to ME when MY son went into a psychiatric hospital for attempted suicide, nope - could have been right in the comfort of their own home and just called and said - I have no idea how to help - but just wanted to let you know I love you, I care. That would have made so much difference in MY DAY, from MY FRIEND. </p><p></p><p>Those that are left? My Mom, who largely does not understand BUT supports my efforts and loves me unconditionally, my fiance who doesn't understand but loves me and this board and it's members. The rest? Well...(long pause)...sigh....the rest I guess I feel sorry for. It used to hurt when I started getting dropped from groups and outings, from social events and from gatherings. It hurt pretty bad. No one likes to be excluded. And you know WHY you're being excluded....and at first it's like - "OH honey we know you have a full plate blah blah blah (Insert sock puppet) blah blah blah." and eventually they just stop all together. Now I say "SO be it." I'm over the hurt and like I said - I would rather have friends here that when they type "I'm so sorry,or I understand." MEAN IT - than Not have real world friends who NEVER call or if they do see me - NEVER ask about my son at all as if he doesn't exist. I always ALWAYS ask about their kids - but they never EVER ask me about mine. That's not friendship - that's avoidance. AND like I said - Now? I'd rather just be around myself and my dogs. </p><p></p><p>As far as the family you have that accepts your daughter? (laughs) YEah well - You know - it may take THEM some time to be used up and manipulated - but my best advice there. Is to DETACH from them. She will not treat them any differently than she treats you - it will just take THEM a little longer to figure out they are being used...and it WILL happen. She's not going for a full-on PITY party with them. Know what I mean?? She'll keep them on the back burner for future money, place to live, etc. And they'll oblige her but eventually tire of her as well. Some times it takes people a little longer to reach their light switch. Let them. Don't try to flip it for them. Just detach. </p><p></p><p>In any event - welcome to the group. It's a nice group. We're a pretty understanding gang - we try to pepper every day ups and downs with love and humor...and the occasional DON'T YOU DARE....which helps when you're having a moment of weakness. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> </p><p></p><p>Glad you found us. </p><p></p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 311920, member: 4964"] treasalin - Hi and welcome to the family. Over the years I have respectfully and lovingly called this board my family for a number of reasons. Many may think it's a put-on or a false sort of "love", but when you have been shunned by all of your pseudo friends and have practically no family left that stands by you or understands you and then find a group of total strangers that do not judge you, berate you, chastise you or leave you? They become family and you begin to love them and cherish them. This family here (Our Board Family) has never made me feel unwelcomed, or like a freak, or pushed my son away in any shape or fashion. My so-called friends in the real world? Wow - I have nearly none left and don't make new ones or allow many people into my world because it's just too heartbreaking or tiring to explain WHY my life is chaotic at times or HOW I know about the things I do. I tell newcomers like you all the same thing with tongue in cheek, but I mean this from the bottom of my very large heart. The fact that my son has cut the majority of the friends I had from the herd? I'm glad!! If they had been true and good friends from the get-go? They would still be my friends regardless of what came down the pike with me or him. The fact that they bailed on us citing that it would be a poor influence on THEIR children is a sad excuse. THEY could STILL BE MY FRIEND and have left THEIR children out of OUR relationship. (SEE?) They didn't need to drag THEIR kids to MY house to meet ME for a cup of coffee or they didn't need to have THEIR kids present during a phone call to ME when MY son went into a psychiatric hospital for attempted suicide, nope - could have been right in the comfort of their own home and just called and said - I have no idea how to help - but just wanted to let you know I love you, I care. That would have made so much difference in MY DAY, from MY FRIEND. Those that are left? My Mom, who largely does not understand BUT supports my efforts and loves me unconditionally, my fiance who doesn't understand but loves me and this board and it's members. The rest? Well...(long pause)...sigh....the rest I guess I feel sorry for. It used to hurt when I started getting dropped from groups and outings, from social events and from gatherings. It hurt pretty bad. No one likes to be excluded. And you know WHY you're being excluded....and at first it's like - "OH honey we know you have a full plate blah blah blah (Insert sock puppet) blah blah blah." and eventually they just stop all together. Now I say "SO be it." I'm over the hurt and like I said - I would rather have friends here that when they type "I'm so sorry,or I understand." MEAN IT - than Not have real world friends who NEVER call or if they do see me - NEVER ask about my son at all as if he doesn't exist. I always ALWAYS ask about their kids - but they never EVER ask me about mine. That's not friendship - that's avoidance. AND like I said - Now? I'd rather just be around myself and my dogs. As far as the family you have that accepts your daughter? (laughs) YEah well - You know - it may take THEM some time to be used up and manipulated - but my best advice there. Is to DETACH from them. She will not treat them any differently than she treats you - it will just take THEM a little longer to figure out they are being used...and it WILL happen. She's not going for a full-on PITY party with them. Know what I mean?? She'll keep them on the back burner for future money, place to live, etc. And they'll oblige her but eventually tire of her as well. Some times it takes people a little longer to reach their light switch. Let them. Don't try to flip it for them. Just detach. In any event - welcome to the group. It's a nice group. We're a pretty understanding gang - we try to pepper every day ups and downs with love and humor...and the occasional DON'T YOU DARE....which helps when you're having a moment of weakness. :winking: Glad you found us. Star [/QUOTE]
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