My husband and I are hurting now. After years of infertility, we adopted our daughters from foster care when they were 10 yrs and 6 months, respectively. The eldest had a host of learning and social deficiencies that we have worked hard to help her overcome. She had been retained for 2 grades and didn't read yet but in May, she graduated on time with honors. While we had success academically, the social side has been so difficult and got progressively worse following puberty. We moved from rude behavior to strangers to temper tantrums at the word NO, to defiance to compulsive lying to extreme sexual acting out. While we don't have proof of substance abuse, we can't rule it out. Socially, she is a 13 yr old in an 18 yr old body. To compound this, she tracked down her birthfamily via the internet and has reconnected with them.....convicted drug dealers and sex offenders. Following graduation, she declared herself free from all household rules and stated that all her friends felt sorry for her having such stupid parents. We stood firm on the idea that all households have rules to protect all family members and she would have to live by those rules if she wanted to live her. She refused and moved out in a rage one night. My family has never wanted to see the truth and has dismissed anything we said as "idle gossip". They have even accused us of not having unconditional love. She is very manipulative and they have bought it and say that all the poor little thing needs is love. Now, they have started excluding us from family gatherings in favor of her. I never dreamed what the cost would be when we adopted her. Friends we had always known stopped associating with us because they didn't want their children to be influenced by her. My family has written us off as being cold and unloving. Have any of you had family turn on you because of your child?