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General Parenting
I am so lost, feel so alone, unsure where to turn...
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<blockquote data-quote="Zardo" data-source="post: 459052" data-attributes="member: 12490"><p>This story is familiar. My son was much older when the wheels fell off the bus, but the basic issues were the same - could not do work, putting anything on paper became a huge issue, after 6-8 months of stuggling to try to MAKE him do work, the bahavior issues began a school and home. Here is what I learned after almost 2 years of trying to help a now 15 year old with similar issues: getting the help your son needs will be hard to do on your own. It's a complicated issue. The schools want to try to fit these kids into their "box" of how to work with them, but is usually doesn't work and the behaviors get worse. In addition, the help they are able to provide is oftern times still in a classroom with a lot of peers in it, which in my case, did not work. I am a fan of the "aide" idea, but highly reccomend that it is NOT you. The more you become involved in trying to "fix" things for him, the more he will grow to resent you as anything related to something that creates such misery for them becomes part of the problem. To successfully navigate the school system and educate both the school and yourself about ways to help him, you need to get an expert in; an educational consultant or advocate who has worked with kids like him and has many experiences to draw from. When I was trying to get help for my son, the school continually put it off and talked about him being the problem more than looking at how to help him with his problem. The day I walked in with an education consutlant, everything changed, from day one. You may even find that an alternative school setting for a period of time, while he learns how to not be so emotional about facing his learning challenges may be helpful. These schools should be available through your pblic school system. If not, maybe they will pay for a private therapeutic school placement where he can learn new skills and then transtion back. If he needs that, you will need an education consultant to make that happen. From your first conversation with a consultant, you will no longer feel alone and you feel that there is hope.</p><p></p><p>Best of luck - go get the help you and your son need - DON"T GO IT ALONE - and be strong!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Zardo, post: 459052, member: 12490"] This story is familiar. My son was much older when the wheels fell off the bus, but the basic issues were the same - could not do work, putting anything on paper became a huge issue, after 6-8 months of stuggling to try to MAKE him do work, the bahavior issues began a school and home. Here is what I learned after almost 2 years of trying to help a now 15 year old with similar issues: getting the help your son needs will be hard to do on your own. It's a complicated issue. The schools want to try to fit these kids into their "box" of how to work with them, but is usually doesn't work and the behaviors get worse. In addition, the help they are able to provide is oftern times still in a classroom with a lot of peers in it, which in my case, did not work. I am a fan of the "aide" idea, but highly reccomend that it is NOT you. The more you become involved in trying to "fix" things for him, the more he will grow to resent you as anything related to something that creates such misery for them becomes part of the problem. To successfully navigate the school system and educate both the school and yourself about ways to help him, you need to get an expert in; an educational consultant or advocate who has worked with kids like him and has many experiences to draw from. When I was trying to get help for my son, the school continually put it off and talked about him being the problem more than looking at how to help him with his problem. The day I walked in with an education consutlant, everything changed, from day one. You may even find that an alternative school setting for a period of time, while he learns how to not be so emotional about facing his learning challenges may be helpful. These schools should be available through your pblic school system. If not, maybe they will pay for a private therapeutic school placement where he can learn new skills and then transtion back. If he needs that, you will need an education consultant to make that happen. From your first conversation with a consultant, you will no longer feel alone and you feel that there is hope. Best of luck - go get the help you and your son need - DON"T GO IT ALONE - and be strong! [/QUOTE]
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