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I am so ticked off with oldest son..very
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 377428" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry that this kind of selfishness is so much a part of Billy. Seems to me that if Billy can hold a job at radio shack, which requires some very technical knowledge, plus how to get along with customers, ability to sell (I won't buy at ours because no one in there cares a fig if you have questions - they want to push the items they get a big commission on and if you don't want those they don't have time for you at all, to the point of fighting over who HAS to ring you up instead of playing the computer game! NOT joking at ALL - had it happen once, then husband said it had to be a fluke and only they carried something, then it happened again to us and the 2 people ahead of us. As soon as the guy stopped his game and signed in to the computer and rang it up I did a meanie. I said "HOW much? The same brand is XX lower at Walmart. I am going there, come on husband!" and walked out. It WAS that much left at WM, but husband would have paid the radio shack higher price because the guy stopped his game!!!! Not me, not AFTER he argued in front of us several times about how HE shouldn't have to stop, and even asked us to wait just five minutes until he was done with "this round". Not not not not not!!</p><p> </p><p>Anyway - Billy should have all the skills he needs for the most part to live on his own. Budgetting will be hard because he doesn't have to. WHy not if you cannot kick the kid out, start dividing all the utilities at least in 1/3 and have him pay 1/3 of them - but if he tells you to turn things off or not to do something because it ups the bills then he needs to find a way to make sure HIS things are unplugged all the time. </p><p> </p><p>Remind Billy that it is said that hi tech devices drain a LOT of power even if they are plugged in and NOT turned on. So if he wants to HAVE all that stuff he needs to UNPLUG it ALL - or figure out which circuit breaker is for his room and flip it if he isn't home. Doing that for a month should give both Billy and Tony an idea of how much his toys are draining YOUR pockets. Then if Billy wants to pay that OVER his $100 he can have the toys. Otherwise you need to find creative ways to make him miserable - and say you just "didn't think he would mind" because "I told you like you told me about the game system and other things that benefit just you". </p><p> </p><p>If Tony has a real problem I am SURE you are creative enough to find ways to let him know what you think about how he favors Billy Who Must Be Coddled and Jamie Who Can Do No Wrong over Cory - who HAS messed up and is working super hard to do things right in spite of some VERY PAINFUL problems. Maybe remind Tony that if his back hurts he moans and groans, but Cory hurts like that or worse just from standing up and HE isn't complaining about working at Pizza Inn!</p><p> </p><p>There has to be some way to help Tony see how this is unfair all around. Esp because it helps keep Billy a child, or less than a man, and encourages Jamie's selfishness/his wife's selfishness even when it hurts YOU so much. Heck, Jamie and his wife insist on YOUR bed and they cannot even give YOU a decent place to stay or food to eat when you go to their home. Maybe reminding Tony of this, and how Cory tries now to make you feel welcome, and at least cooked when he had to stay with you during his house arrest, maybe htis will help you get through to tony.</p><p> </p><p>in my opinion Tony may be insisting that Billy stay at home because Tony is afraid something will happen to you or your health and then he won't be able or know how to cope, esp with the budget/bills/household stuff. That fear can do a LOT to keep a parent from encouraging a child to spread his wings. Esp if the child is comfy at home in the nest!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 377428, member: 1233"] I am sorry that this kind of selfishness is so much a part of Billy. Seems to me that if Billy can hold a job at radio shack, which requires some very technical knowledge, plus how to get along with customers, ability to sell (I won't buy at ours because no one in there cares a fig if you have questions - they want to push the items they get a big commission on and if you don't want those they don't have time for you at all, to the point of fighting over who HAS to ring you up instead of playing the computer game! NOT joking at ALL - had it happen once, then husband said it had to be a fluke and only they carried something, then it happened again to us and the 2 people ahead of us. As soon as the guy stopped his game and signed in to the computer and rang it up I did a meanie. I said "HOW much? The same brand is XX lower at Walmart. I am going there, come on husband!" and walked out. It WAS that much left at WM, but husband would have paid the radio shack higher price because the guy stopped his game!!!! Not me, not AFTER he argued in front of us several times about how HE shouldn't have to stop, and even asked us to wait just five minutes until he was done with "this round". Not not not not not!! Anyway - Billy should have all the skills he needs for the most part to live on his own. Budgetting will be hard because he doesn't have to. WHy not if you cannot kick the kid out, start dividing all the utilities at least in 1/3 and have him pay 1/3 of them - but if he tells you to turn things off or not to do something because it ups the bills then he needs to find a way to make sure HIS things are unplugged all the time. Remind Billy that it is said that hi tech devices drain a LOT of power even if they are plugged in and NOT turned on. So if he wants to HAVE all that stuff he needs to UNPLUG it ALL - or figure out which circuit breaker is for his room and flip it if he isn't home. Doing that for a month should give both Billy and Tony an idea of how much his toys are draining YOUR pockets. Then if Billy wants to pay that OVER his $100 he can have the toys. Otherwise you need to find creative ways to make him miserable - and say you just "didn't think he would mind" because "I told you like you told me about the game system and other things that benefit just you". If Tony has a real problem I am SURE you are creative enough to find ways to let him know what you think about how he favors Billy Who Must Be Coddled and Jamie Who Can Do No Wrong over Cory - who HAS messed up and is working super hard to do things right in spite of some VERY PAINFUL problems. Maybe remind Tony that if his back hurts he moans and groans, but Cory hurts like that or worse just from standing up and HE isn't complaining about working at Pizza Inn! There has to be some way to help Tony see how this is unfair all around. Esp because it helps keep Billy a child, or less than a man, and encourages Jamie's selfishness/his wife's selfishness even when it hurts YOU so much. Heck, Jamie and his wife insist on YOUR bed and they cannot even give YOU a decent place to stay or food to eat when you go to their home. Maybe reminding Tony of this, and how Cory tries now to make you feel welcome, and at least cooked when he had to stay with you during his house arrest, maybe htis will help you get through to tony. in my opinion Tony may be insisting that Billy stay at home because Tony is afraid something will happen to you or your health and then he won't be able or know how to cope, esp with the budget/bills/household stuff. That fear can do a LOT to keep a parent from encouraging a child to spread his wings. Esp if the child is comfy at home in the nest! [/QUOTE]
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