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I am terrified!
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 334095" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Every single thing you posted has my radar going off loudly. This little girl certainly needs an evaluation, and her mom probably can use some help to see not "her little girl" but rather, see the danger signs written all over her behaviours. I have met many parents who struggle to see beyond their little angels, or if they do, they become so used to their childrens dysfunctional behaviours, that it is the "new norm" and is easily in their minds pawned off on "OH thats just how she's always been" etc. Its sad because they truly love their children, but it can blind them to how badly a child needs help.</p><p></p><p>This is frightening behaviour from a 6 year old. And unaided, that 6 year old becomes, 12, 18, an adult. It gets harder to alter behaviours as children grow older. Sometimes parents wait so long that by the time they want to enforce therapy etc, the child will simply never respond or participate. And that happens earlier than most people think, not simply when they become adults at 18 and have control over medical help.</p><p></p><p>I would suggest you have a heart to heart with your sister about all of your concerns. Supportive words can help perhaps a more responsive reaction that will benefit your sister and your niece. Maybe even make some calls about local specialists and agencies that can offer support. If this is her first child showing problems, she probably doesn't know about supports right within the school system. There are plenty if you know what to ask for and what the school is obligated by law to provide. This can include an IEP (individual education plan), counsellors at school, plans specific to addressing bullying or other behaviours at school that need working on, as well as access to certain testing processes that can give insight to what is going on with this little girl.</p><p></p><p>All of the things you wrote, combined, paint a picture of a child who truly needs some evaluation and a family who needs help. My biggest concern is a 6 year old who can harm a pet. That is a red flag that goes beyond the worries of a child who picks on a sibling etc. It is a warning sign in many cases for more serious issues in children. Going undiagnosed and not dealt with, it can be a starting place for some major issues.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry your sister is going through this. I'm more sorry that your niece has something going on with her that is causing all of this. Kids strive to be good, to be praised. When children begin acting in extreme ways like this, especially without remorse, it should never be ignored. It goes against the very nature of children and is a sign something is going on. I am glad you are concerned and want to help your sister and your niece. perhaps your relationship with your sister will be the basis which she will be able to see clearly that her little girls behaviours are screaming out for some help. </p><p></p><p>You've found a great place here. Welcome!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 334095, member: 4264"] Every single thing you posted has my radar going off loudly. This little girl certainly needs an evaluation, and her mom probably can use some help to see not "her little girl" but rather, see the danger signs written all over her behaviours. I have met many parents who struggle to see beyond their little angels, or if they do, they become so used to their childrens dysfunctional behaviours, that it is the "new norm" and is easily in their minds pawned off on "OH thats just how she's always been" etc. Its sad because they truly love their children, but it can blind them to how badly a child needs help. This is frightening behaviour from a 6 year old. And unaided, that 6 year old becomes, 12, 18, an adult. It gets harder to alter behaviours as children grow older. Sometimes parents wait so long that by the time they want to enforce therapy etc, the child will simply never respond or participate. And that happens earlier than most people think, not simply when they become adults at 18 and have control over medical help. I would suggest you have a heart to heart with your sister about all of your concerns. Supportive words can help perhaps a more responsive reaction that will benefit your sister and your niece. Maybe even make some calls about local specialists and agencies that can offer support. If this is her first child showing problems, she probably doesn't know about supports right within the school system. There are plenty if you know what to ask for and what the school is obligated by law to provide. This can include an IEP (individual education plan), counsellors at school, plans specific to addressing bullying or other behaviours at school that need working on, as well as access to certain testing processes that can give insight to what is going on with this little girl. All of the things you wrote, combined, paint a picture of a child who truly needs some evaluation and a family who needs help. My biggest concern is a 6 year old who can harm a pet. That is a red flag that goes beyond the worries of a child who picks on a sibling etc. It is a warning sign in many cases for more serious issues in children. Going undiagnosed and not dealt with, it can be a starting place for some major issues. I'm sorry your sister is going through this. I'm more sorry that your niece has something going on with her that is causing all of this. Kids strive to be good, to be praised. When children begin acting in extreme ways like this, especially without remorse, it should never be ignored. It goes against the very nature of children and is a sign something is going on. I am glad you are concerned and want to help your sister and your niece. perhaps your relationship with your sister will be the basis which she will be able to see clearly that her little girls behaviours are screaming out for some help. You've found a great place here. Welcome! [/QUOTE]
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