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I am terrified!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 334112" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>MWM is correct. Your sister MUST have a safety plan that includes alarms, locks and eyes on the child every single waking moment. She CAN lose custody of her other children and be put in jail for not protecting them.</p><p></p><p>I have been in a very similar situation. My difficult child, Wiz, did not harm animals. Just his sister and I. First it was his sister and me only during rages. I was the one to do the restraints, consequences, therapy, evaluations and other things. My husband just could not understand it and could not handle it. </p><p></p><p>When Wiz was in 6th grade and Jessie was in 2nd, our cat woke me up one night. It was very out of character for her, but she lead me into my daughter's room. I found Wiz on top of her, choking the life out of her. I was terrified, beyond angry and so scared for both of them that I am surprised my hair didn't instantly turn white. I yenked him off of her by the hair, screaming at him. I do not spank so this was a shock to him. Jessie was so upset. It took weeks for us to learn the full extent of his behavior. </p><p></p><p>Jessie spent that night, and many more sleeping in my room. I was very glad we had a king size bed. I spent most of the next two days either buying and installing locks and alarms, on the phone or keeping eyes on my son. If he was at home he had to be in the same room as a parent. Period.</p><p></p><p>We had spent many years prior to that keeping the kids supervised. Supervised to the point that if husband went to the bathroom and I wasn't home he took Wiz into the bathroom with him. I did the same with Jessie. We started that when she started crawling. We noticed that while he was gentle and cute with her when we could see him, if we left the room for even 30 seconds we found bruises, scrapes or even cuts on Jess. (There are 3.5 years between them in age.)</p><p></p><p>Jessie never hit back. Not even after tae kwon do lessons and a talk with the Sensei who told her that she must protect herself from this long term abuse. She said she didn't want to hurt him. Period. </p><p></p><p>We made a written safety plan and posted it at every phone, laminated cards with it and all phone numbers to be carried with our cell phones.</p><p></p><p>We put an alarm on Jessie's door. If she was in her room the alarm had to be set. We bought a personal alarm made for joggers and if she was home she had to have it on. If the kids were in the same room an adult had to be there with them. </p><p></p><p>About 4 days after we found him choking Jess we took him to a psychiatric hospital. Not an acute care facility. He was there for 4 months. </p><p></p><p>While he was in the psychiatric hospital we took Jess to the doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist. She already was working with a psychologist to handle the emotional aspects of the abuse. The pediatrician was required to report us to CPS. This is NOT something to fear. It can open up a whole world of help and resources for your entire family.</p><p></p><p>Your sis needs to write up a safety plan including constant supervision of the dangerous child. She MUST get the evaluations MWM and others suggested.</p><p></p><p>This is a life and death situation. The child could kill her sibling for fun. Or even her mother. in my opinion, with all you have seen it is time to call CPS. You love your niece, but you love your other nieces/nephews also. Tell your sis that she needs to do these things. The situation is so far from normal that it is crucial to intervene, for everyone's safety and health.</p><p></p><p>I DO know the chaos and hard feelings and estrangement that can come from that call. I suggest talking through this with your sis before you call. It may save some of those hard feelings from happening. The call is a way to find resources.</p><p></p><p>I will post more later as I need to take a rest now. I am so sorry for your pain.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 334112, member: 1233"] MWM is correct. Your sister MUST have a safety plan that includes alarms, locks and eyes on the child every single waking moment. She CAN lose custody of her other children and be put in jail for not protecting them. I have been in a very similar situation. My difficult child, Wiz, did not harm animals. Just his sister and I. First it was his sister and me only during rages. I was the one to do the restraints, consequences, therapy, evaluations and other things. My husband just could not understand it and could not handle it. When Wiz was in 6th grade and Jessie was in 2nd, our cat woke me up one night. It was very out of character for her, but she lead me into my daughter's room. I found Wiz on top of her, choking the life out of her. I was terrified, beyond angry and so scared for both of them that I am surprised my hair didn't instantly turn white. I yenked him off of her by the hair, screaming at him. I do not spank so this was a shock to him. Jessie was so upset. It took weeks for us to learn the full extent of his behavior. Jessie spent that night, and many more sleeping in my room. I was very glad we had a king size bed. I spent most of the next two days either buying and installing locks and alarms, on the phone or keeping eyes on my son. If he was at home he had to be in the same room as a parent. Period. We had spent many years prior to that keeping the kids supervised. Supervised to the point that if husband went to the bathroom and I wasn't home he took Wiz into the bathroom with him. I did the same with Jessie. We started that when she started crawling. We noticed that while he was gentle and cute with her when we could see him, if we left the room for even 30 seconds we found bruises, scrapes or even cuts on Jess. (There are 3.5 years between them in age.) Jessie never hit back. Not even after tae kwon do lessons and a talk with the Sensei who told her that she must protect herself from this long term abuse. She said she didn't want to hurt him. Period. We made a written safety plan and posted it at every phone, laminated cards with it and all phone numbers to be carried with our cell phones. We put an alarm on Jessie's door. If she was in her room the alarm had to be set. We bought a personal alarm made for joggers and if she was home she had to have it on. If the kids were in the same room an adult had to be there with them. About 4 days after we found him choking Jess we took him to a psychiatric hospital. Not an acute care facility. He was there for 4 months. While he was in the psychiatric hospital we took Jess to the doctor for a referral to a psychiatrist. She already was working with a psychologist to handle the emotional aspects of the abuse. The pediatrician was required to report us to CPS. This is NOT something to fear. It can open up a whole world of help and resources for your entire family. Your sis needs to write up a safety plan including constant supervision of the dangerous child. She MUST get the evaluations MWM and others suggested. This is a life and death situation. The child could kill her sibling for fun. Or even her mother. in my opinion, with all you have seen it is time to call CPS. You love your niece, but you love your other nieces/nephews also. Tell your sis that she needs to do these things. The situation is so far from normal that it is crucial to intervene, for everyone's safety and health. I DO know the chaos and hard feelings and estrangement that can come from that call. I suggest talking through this with your sis before you call. It may save some of those hard feelings from happening. The call is a way to find resources. I will post more later as I need to take a rest now. I am so sorry for your pain. [/QUOTE]
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