This is just more validation that my dad is a narcissist. He fits every single red flag on the list. Wow, yes, he hands out money, but there is a catch. He expects you to put up with his abuse and if you don't, he threatens to disinherit you. We think of narcissists as greedy, maybe like the fictitious Scrooge, but they will give gifts. They just expect the world back in return and will cut off the gifts if you don't do what t hey like. This is kind of like a vent or a warning or both. I'm so glad I'm past thinking that all this is my fault and I'd better be a good daughter. I'm so sorry it took me so long to get here. My mother doesn't fit Narcissism. She fits borderline, but that's another thread. At any rate, moral of the story: Please do not confuse getting gifts as love. They MAY be due to love, depending on the person. They can also be a down payment on your loyalty forever, feeling indebted to them, no matter how they treat you. "I come from a long line of narcissistic people who used money and "gifts of royal approval" in lieu of actual love to reinforce the legacy of narcissism and their approved values, gracing their favorites who made them look good with rewards and scapegoating and punishing those who do not act how they want until they "Shape Up!" They value: physical beauty, deception, wealth, power, control, total lack of empathy (which is seen as a weakness) and the ability to be whatever they want . They like to pretend to care and be very generous when anyone they want to impress is watching. They make sure to let you know, after you get a gold star, that you are insignificant in the galaxy of stars competing for their royal attention. No matter how many kindness visited upon me, the upshot was always to devalue me further and curse me to being less than human. In fact, I needed to be broken. I think they wanted to deform me to make me fit with them. I never could."