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I came across this...wow.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 644972" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>This is me, too.</p><p></p><p>When difficult child daughter began acting out though, I wondered whether I had done things I could not remember. SOMETHING was wrong. I mean, no one is a perfect parent, but I just could not see what husband and I could have done that could account for what was happening to us.</p><p></p><p>Still, there had to be something.</p><p></p><p>And I was the mom at home. </p><p></p><p>And we've all seen the Three Faces of Eve, right? Where the mother was so awful and the daughter had a thousand personalities.</p><p></p><p>And my mom was pretty awful.</p><p></p><p>Then, difficult child son brought addiction into the picture, which I refused to believe in either.</p><p></p><p>I could not let go of that sense of responsibility. Something was wrong, and though I had sworn with my whole heart, with everything I knew or had or would ever have, not to be my mother...I could never be sure, until I had been here on this site long enough to explore it all, that I hadn't slipped up somewhere and caused all this.</p><p></p><p>It is a strange thing to say, but I was freed from that when one of us ~ maybe you, MWM? ~ began posting about the genetic component to difficult child behavior.</p><p></p><p>And oh, hello, look at my family of origin.</p><p></p><p>And then, poor difficult child daughter diagnosis after diagnosis came in.</p><p></p><p>I cannot figure out today whether I should just be happy I ever put all these pieces together, or whether I should waste yet more time trying to be all self pitying about all these years, and about all the different ways I might have been stronger, and might have turned the tide for all of us that way, had I not been so focused on trying to figure out what I did.</p><p></p><p>Grrr.</p><p></p><p>Oh, well.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>P.S. Oh, excuse me. What I meant to say was: "My sister is like that."</p><p></p><p>Darn auto correct.</p><p></p><p></p><p>:O)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 644972, member: 17461"] This is me, too. When difficult child daughter began acting out though, I wondered whether I had done things I could not remember. SOMETHING was wrong. I mean, no one is a perfect parent, but I just could not see what husband and I could have done that could account for what was happening to us. Still, there had to be something. And I was the mom at home. And we've all seen the Three Faces of Eve, right? Where the mother was so awful and the daughter had a thousand personalities. And my mom was pretty awful. Then, difficult child son brought addiction into the picture, which I refused to believe in either. I could not let go of that sense of responsibility. Something was wrong, and though I had sworn with my whole heart, with everything I knew or had or would ever have, not to be my mother...I could never be sure, until I had been here on this site long enough to explore it all, that I hadn't slipped up somewhere and caused all this. It is a strange thing to say, but I was freed from that when one of us ~ maybe you, MWM? ~ began posting about the genetic component to difficult child behavior. And oh, hello, look at my family of origin. And then, poor difficult child daughter diagnosis after diagnosis came in. I cannot figure out today whether I should just be happy I ever put all these pieces together, or whether I should waste yet more time trying to be all self pitying about all these years, and about all the different ways I might have been stronger, and might have turned the tide for all of us that way, had I not been so focused on trying to figure out what I did. Grrr. Oh, well. Cedar P.S. Oh, excuse me. What I meant to say was: "My sister is like that." Darn auto correct. :O) [/QUOTE]
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I came across this...wow.
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