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I came across this...wow.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 644980" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Cedar, yeah, I was reading and kept coming across that our behavior is in large part inherited, even if we are adopted and never know our biology. That DNA still lives inside of us and influences our impulse control, our temperament, and the various personality problems and addictions we are prone to have. I see all this in my DNA collection and in my one biological son. I am a bit different because, having been somebody who was intristically "different" myself from early on (and very aware of it) I never believed my parents caused it, as horrible as they were. I always thought I was born that way, even before I knew the word "inherited." I still don't. Anything I am that is negative, I attribute to bad genes plus not knowing how to control those bad genes before I had therapy. So I always told all my therapists from Day One that I was born this way and I just wanted to know how to act better...that I did not want to talk about my parents because they didn't cause it. I see this all over my DNA collection tree and somewhat in 37, but do not see this in my adopted kids.</p><p></p><p>The peace in knowing about DNA and heredity is I never thought, "What did I do to make him this way?" "Why does my daughter take drugs? What did I do wrong?"</p><p></p><p>I thought: "Dang it, I knew I should not have passed along my cursed DNA!" and "I'll bet somebody in Daughter's biological family tree abused drugs, but she is still so sweet. I wish I knew her family-of-origin to get a better picture."</p><p></p><p>The guilt part wasn't there, as far as feeling I caused it. Nor did I ever once tell my parents, who I loathed and who were mostly horrid to me, that they made me this way. I had it in me to do it. I was no shrinking violent. But I wasn't going to tell them something that I didn't believe just to hurt them. So that never came up.</p><p></p><p>I believe in biology as the keys to our inclinations on how to behave. I also know from first hand experience that one can change his behavior if he/she is aware and tries very hard. It is a HUGE task though and if our DNAers are also lazy...well, like I said, it's a lot of work. Healing takes time and a very strong effort, but anyone can behave better if they want to learn how to do it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 644980, member: 1550"] Cedar, yeah, I was reading and kept coming across that our behavior is in large part inherited, even if we are adopted and never know our biology. That DNA still lives inside of us and influences our impulse control, our temperament, and the various personality problems and addictions we are prone to have. I see all this in my DNA collection and in my one biological son. I am a bit different because, having been somebody who was intristically "different" myself from early on (and very aware of it) I never believed my parents caused it, as horrible as they were. I always thought I was born that way, even before I knew the word "inherited." I still don't. Anything I am that is negative, I attribute to bad genes plus not knowing how to control those bad genes before I had therapy. So I always told all my therapists from Day One that I was born this way and I just wanted to know how to act better...that I did not want to talk about my parents because they didn't cause it. I see this all over my DNA collection tree and somewhat in 37, but do not see this in my adopted kids. The peace in knowing about DNA and heredity is I never thought, "What did I do to make him this way?" "Why does my daughter take drugs? What did I do wrong?" I thought: "Dang it, I knew I should not have passed along my cursed DNA!" and "I'll bet somebody in Daughter's biological family tree abused drugs, but she is still so sweet. I wish I knew her family-of-origin to get a better picture." The guilt part wasn't there, as far as feeling I caused it. Nor did I ever once tell my parents, who I loathed and who were mostly horrid to me, that they made me this way. I had it in me to do it. I was no shrinking violent. But I wasn't going to tell them something that I didn't believe just to hurt them. So that never came up. I believe in biology as the keys to our inclinations on how to behave. I also know from first hand experience that one can change his behavior if he/she is aware and tries very hard. It is a HUGE task though and if our DNAers are also lazy...well, like I said, it's a lot of work. Healing takes time and a very strong effort, but anyone can behave better if they want to learn how to do it. [/QUOTE]
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