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I can never score a homerun!
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 110376" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>Yes DDD, you're correct - these are topics that should be discussed beforehand, but who is even thinking about that? </p><p></p><p>What I have learned AFTER marrying H:</p><p></p><p>His family does not celebrate big for birthdays, Christmas or Anniversaries. As a result, H does not see why I want to. His parents have never acknowledged my birthday or the birthdays for easy child and difficult child. They send H a check every year for $100, usually a little late and always from his dad, never his mom.</p><p></p><p>Like Janet's H, we grew up middle class, but with all us kids and my dad's physical disabilities, my parents scraped by so while we didn't have a lot of gifts or toys, we always had the family together, had a big dinner and spent the day in our pjs just chillin or out sledding. I mean, most of our Christmas holidays were happy and content. None of them were like "Wow!". I don't always shoot for Wow either with my kids, but I do love watching them open gifts I know they will enjoy or wanted and to me, that's the whole point. I do like making it a celebration of some kind. </p><p></p><p>H seems put off by the whole idea of not being able to work this week - you should see him, he's climbing the walls. I, on the other hand, enjoy being able to spend this week with my family, especially my kids and at home. I truly love being at home, even by myself. However, right now I don't even mind going into work for an hour or two just to get away from H. How sad is that?</p><p></p><p>My H loves to look like the "big guy", you know, always be the big spender on gifts and I think he feels weird about receiving gifts. He's almost martyr-like, which I find very unappealing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 110376, member: 2211"] Yes DDD, you're correct - these are topics that should be discussed beforehand, but who is even thinking about that? What I have learned AFTER marrying H: His family does not celebrate big for birthdays, Christmas or Anniversaries. As a result, H does not see why I want to. His parents have never acknowledged my birthday or the birthdays for easy child and difficult child. They send H a check every year for $100, usually a little late and always from his dad, never his mom. Like Janet's H, we grew up middle class, but with all us kids and my dad's physical disabilities, my parents scraped by so while we didn't have a lot of gifts or toys, we always had the family together, had a big dinner and spent the day in our pjs just chillin or out sledding. I mean, most of our Christmas holidays were happy and content. None of them were like "Wow!". I don't always shoot for Wow either with my kids, but I do love watching them open gifts I know they will enjoy or wanted and to me, that's the whole point. I do like making it a celebration of some kind. H seems put off by the whole idea of not being able to work this week - you should see him, he's climbing the walls. I, on the other hand, enjoy being able to spend this week with my family, especially my kids and at home. I truly love being at home, even by myself. However, right now I don't even mind going into work for an hour or two just to get away from H. How sad is that? My H loves to look like the "big guy", you know, always be the big spender on gifts and I think he feels weird about receiving gifts. He's almost martyr-like, which I find very unappealing. [/QUOTE]
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