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I cannot believe we are going thru this again
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 403953" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am so sorry. We went through this with Wiz for years. Sadly, it wasn't new because my mom is a cutter. With Wiz what worked was my mom seeing how the cutting was hurting him and asking if she stopped cutting would he stop cutting? Depending on how rational and reasonable thank you is, HE may be one who can get through to her. I don't know, that would NOT be a step to take lightly. I do know that Wiz has already spoken to Jess about it and has asked her to call him 24/7 if she feels any desire to cut - before she does it. </p><p> </p><p>My father banned Wiz' wrist bands (the terrycloth kind) because infection risk and if he was going to do it then he needed to be open about it. I worry about a leather band that is worn all the time over cuts because many many germs can and will grow on that band. When Wiz cut his legs he had to let my dad inspect them and treat them. Periodically my dad would have him show the cuts - I know my dad looked sad, but didn't punish or do much but check for infection. He also put boxes of those alcohol wipes around the house and Wiz was to use those to clean up the blood on himself and on whatever he cut with. My mother has a very supressed immune system so the risk of infection to her from anything with blood on it was huge. They used this reason. Wiz actually did use the wipes on the cuts because they hurt. He refused to use peroxide or even soap and water, but alcohol made the cuts more painful. I know they are NOT the best thing to clean a wound of any kind with, but they sure are better than having blood everywhere.</p><p> </p><p>Sue, you have to stop beating yourself up. It is going to make the situation a lot worse. You are FAR from a bad mother. Yes, you didn't see this. Neither did ANY other adult until some teen girl told them. You realized she was having problems, but there is a REASON that MANY psychiatric conditions are NOT diagnosed until age 18 or later. It is because the symptoms of the disorders are ALSO symptoms of being a teen. yes, I said that the same behaviors that are "normal" in teens are also signs of many serious disorders including personality disorders. It is ALSO on of the reasons that our legal system treats those under 18 differently than those over 18 with the exception of some serious crimes. </p><p> </p><p>She does need help. You have a good handle on getting that set up. MOST of us would need at least a week to find someone to help. YOU called a genius therapist and the receptionist will let you know soon, likely today, how they are going to help. That is AMAZING and WONDERFUL. This ISN"T a problem taht is going to get help on an emergency basis. Heck, unless they are bleeding to the point that it needs stitches or worse, our ER won't even see a cutter. They tell you to go home and use peroxide and bandaids. Period. </p><p> </p><p>So there is NO WAY you are a bad mom because your drama loving daughter - who has been drama loving for as long as I have known you (hence the name Diva) - has been able to hide some problems behind an increase in drama at an age when MOST girls are NOTORIOUS for having an increase in drama simply due to their ages.</p><p> </p><p>I am SO SORRY thta she is hurting this badly and hiding this. Esp if she is slipping into irrational thoughts and some sort of mental illness is now one of her problems. Hopefully she can be helped through this problem so that she can heal and handle these feelings/problems better in the future. </p><p> </p><p>(((((hugs)))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 403953, member: 1233"] I am so sorry. We went through this with Wiz for years. Sadly, it wasn't new because my mom is a cutter. With Wiz what worked was my mom seeing how the cutting was hurting him and asking if she stopped cutting would he stop cutting? Depending on how rational and reasonable thank you is, HE may be one who can get through to her. I don't know, that would NOT be a step to take lightly. I do know that Wiz has already spoken to Jess about it and has asked her to call him 24/7 if she feels any desire to cut - before she does it. My father banned Wiz' wrist bands (the terrycloth kind) because infection risk and if he was going to do it then he needed to be open about it. I worry about a leather band that is worn all the time over cuts because many many germs can and will grow on that band. When Wiz cut his legs he had to let my dad inspect them and treat them. Periodically my dad would have him show the cuts - I know my dad looked sad, but didn't punish or do much but check for infection. He also put boxes of those alcohol wipes around the house and Wiz was to use those to clean up the blood on himself and on whatever he cut with. My mother has a very supressed immune system so the risk of infection to her from anything with blood on it was huge. They used this reason. Wiz actually did use the wipes on the cuts because they hurt. He refused to use peroxide or even soap and water, but alcohol made the cuts more painful. I know they are NOT the best thing to clean a wound of any kind with, but they sure are better than having blood everywhere. Sue, you have to stop beating yourself up. It is going to make the situation a lot worse. You are FAR from a bad mother. Yes, you didn't see this. Neither did ANY other adult until some teen girl told them. You realized she was having problems, but there is a REASON that MANY psychiatric conditions are NOT diagnosed until age 18 or later. It is because the symptoms of the disorders are ALSO symptoms of being a teen. yes, I said that the same behaviors that are "normal" in teens are also signs of many serious disorders including personality disorders. It is ALSO on of the reasons that our legal system treats those under 18 differently than those over 18 with the exception of some serious crimes. She does need help. You have a good handle on getting that set up. MOST of us would need at least a week to find someone to help. YOU called a genius therapist and the receptionist will let you know soon, likely today, how they are going to help. That is AMAZING and WONDERFUL. This ISN"T a problem taht is going to get help on an emergency basis. Heck, unless they are bleeding to the point that it needs stitches or worse, our ER won't even see a cutter. They tell you to go home and use peroxide and bandaids. Period. So there is NO WAY you are a bad mom because your drama loving daughter - who has been drama loving for as long as I have known you (hence the name Diva) - has been able to hide some problems behind an increase in drama at an age when MOST girls are NOTORIOUS for having an increase in drama simply due to their ages. I am SO SORRY thta she is hurting this badly and hiding this. Esp if she is slipping into irrational thoughts and some sort of mental illness is now one of her problems. Hopefully she can be helped through this problem so that she can heal and handle these feelings/problems better in the future. (((((hugs))))) [/QUOTE]
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