New Member
So difficult child has been in a new school since March Special Education 12:1:1 class. As of late they are having challenges with him (no big surprise, I have had challenges with him for 7.10 years) He is being disrespectful and refusing to do work with a side order of mild agression. So check out, His teacher called me today to tell me she thinks she knows what the problem is. We have spents thousands of $$$$ on testing, psychiatrist, psychologists, neruologists, behavior therapists and his teacher his found the problem!!!! Ready for this one?????? She thinks he is SPOILED. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT !!!???? She figured that since he gets upset when he does not get his way then we must spoil him at home. The nerve!!!! We work so hard to set limits and make it so that he must earn his privelidges and we follow through with consequences this kid is NOT SPOILED!!! I am so aggravated that she would try to blame me for his problems and then she wants me to tell her how to deal with him. UUUGGGHHHH!!!!!


Well-Known Member
I understand your frustration but I sure don't have an answer for
teachers (or aides or substitutes or office clerks et al) who
think they "know" better than the experts. I would just wish her
luck and tell her that your fervent hope is that your child will
be able to learn to his maximum capability and if she has a plan
that you will run it by your consultants. Geez! DDD


I completely understand how frustrated you are. been there done that - just different wording. It's beyond infuriating. :grrr:

I had signed a release for difficult child's teachers to talk to the therapist (therapist and I had agreed with how much information would be released to the teacher's prior to this) and when they had their "ideas", I asked them if they had talked to therapist. Of course, they hadn't. It didn't stop them from having their ideas, but it kept them from gaining any credibility with them.


Yes, I can believe it.

difficult child's 1st evaluation through the sd said all his problems were due solely to "willfulness" and "lack of structure in the home." At the time, if home had of been any more structured, it would have been a bootcamp.

It was just their way of saying if it's not the student's "fault," it's the parent's "fault."

You may want to suggest that she read your child's Special Education file, evalation reports with-recommendations, etc. That piece of paper(s) called an IEP really doesn't give teachers any idea of what's going on with most difficult child's.

I know it's a downer for you. Hugs.


New Member
Let's see, I've had teachers tell me that the problem is she's adopted. DUH I'm a single parent. Not an issue! I try to over-compensate for the adoption and lack of a father. Yes, but not in the sense they were implying. Not one of these idiots bothered to review her file and see that she had been severely abused and neglected, that there were modifications in place, that there were suggestions of what at least semi-worked for certain behaviors. :hammer:

To the teachers who did read her file and talked to me intelligently, I would bend over backwards to work with them. To the majority of others, I would refer them to the files, the principal and the school psychologist who was working with her. I absolutely refused to deal with them until they behaved as professionals.

Wiped Out

Well-Known Member
Staff member
Things like this just burn me up. The teacher has no place saying that. I hate when things like this happen because it gives teachers a bad name!


New Member
I would remind her that she is a teacher not a psycologist and that your child's psycologist does not hold the same opinion. What a presumptious JERK!!! been there done that -RM


New Member
That is so awful!!!! You should write a letter detailing what she said and send it to the principal and SpEd Director. She is SO out of line! My Ex is an autism behavioral specialist for our school district. When they started the middle school autism program several years ago, so many of the regular ed teachers were mad that there was going to be a room these "bad kids" could go to throughout the day to re-group and get extra support. He spent time with each and every teacher discussing autism and typical behaviors that are seen and why traditional ways of dealing with these behaviors just don't work with kids on the autism spectrum. But a good number just think the program is coddling bad kids and that the kids have these SpEd teachers all duped. In other words, the autism program is just spoiling the kids! (I'm sure these same people are convinced that's what's happening at home too!)

timer lady

Queen of Hearts
I've heard this statement a "few" times myself. It's devastating & maddening to say the least.

My response to each & every teacher (especially the Special Education teachers) was "you're the professional - you were trained to handle this.

This type of comments angers me.