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I can't do this anymore...I need help
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 478843" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there, hon. Take a deep breath. None of this is your fault. You have a couple of boys who are wired differently than other kids so they are harder to parent and normal parenting methods are not working. This is most definitely NOT your fault and don't let anyone tell you that it is. It's early and others will come along to help. I do have a few questions that will help us help you. You may want to do a signature like I did below. That gives us an overview of your family so that we can remember each time you post.</p><p></p><p>1/My very first question that i thought of is are these your biological sons or were they adopted? If they are biological children, were they involved in any early chaos that was beyond your doing such as a divorce where there was maybe some changing in custody or a lot of different caregivers? Is their father living with you? Is he helpful? Early chaos can impact a child later in life. Often there are issues due to weak attachments, which again is not your fault.</p><p></p><p>2/Are there any psychiatric problems or substance abuse on either side of their genetic family trees? Any history of being mean to animals or setting fires or peeing/pooping where or when they shouldn't? (Again these issues are not your fault...they are just questions).</p><p></p><p>3/How was their early development: Did they cuddle, stare at you, smile, reach all their milestones on time, speak on time? Any sensitivities such as noise, textures, foods, a lot of people? How do they interact with their same age peers? Do they have a lot of friends? Does either one have any odd quirks or obsessive interests?</p><p></p><p>4/Has either ever been evaluated? I like neuropsychs. How do they do academically? CAn both transition well from one activity to another?</p><p></p><p>I am thinking both could use a fresh evaluation by a neuropsychologist. The older they get, the easier it is to pinpoint what is going on and neuropsychs do intensive testing (6-10 hours) and test in all areas of function. </p><p></p><p>Be patient. Weekenkds can be slow, but people WILL check in and we do care. A great bunch of people are here for you. by the way, you are a GOOD mother with challenging children. Your thoughts "I love them but don't always like them" are normal in your circumstances. You are reaching out for help which shows how much you do love them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 478843, member: 1550"] Hi there, hon. Take a deep breath. None of this is your fault. You have a couple of boys who are wired differently than other kids so they are harder to parent and normal parenting methods are not working. This is most definitely NOT your fault and don't let anyone tell you that it is. It's early and others will come along to help. I do have a few questions that will help us help you. You may want to do a signature like I did below. That gives us an overview of your family so that we can remember each time you post. 1/My very first question that i thought of is are these your biological sons or were they adopted? If they are biological children, were they involved in any early chaos that was beyond your doing such as a divorce where there was maybe some changing in custody or a lot of different caregivers? Is their father living with you? Is he helpful? Early chaos can impact a child later in life. Often there are issues due to weak attachments, which again is not your fault. 2/Are there any psychiatric problems or substance abuse on either side of their genetic family trees? Any history of being mean to animals or setting fires or peeing/pooping where or when they shouldn't? (Again these issues are not your fault...they are just questions). 3/How was their early development: Did they cuddle, stare at you, smile, reach all their milestones on time, speak on time? Any sensitivities such as noise, textures, foods, a lot of people? How do they interact with their same age peers? Do they have a lot of friends? Does either one have any odd quirks or obsessive interests? 4/Has either ever been evaluated? I like neuropsychs. How do they do academically? CAn both transition well from one activity to another? I am thinking both could use a fresh evaluation by a neuropsychologist. The older they get, the easier it is to pinpoint what is going on and neuropsychs do intensive testing (6-10 hours) and test in all areas of function. Be patient. Weekenkds can be slow, but people WILL check in and we do care. A great bunch of people are here for you. by the way, you are a GOOD mother with challenging children. Your thoughts "I love them but don't always like them" are normal in your circumstances. You are reaching out for help which shows how much you do love them. [/QUOTE]
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