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I can't do this anymore...I need help
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<blockquote data-quote="Palomina" data-source="post: 479106" data-attributes="member: 12810"><p>Thanks for all the replies, and for your reassurance. It means a lot <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Now, on to your questions... My boys are both my biological children, and their biological father is not living in this country at this time. He has never been around a whole lot, but the boys do get to see him about once a year... I am married to a wonderful man who is as lost in my world as I am... He and I have many discussions about ideas to try and what can we do and where can we go for help... He is on my side, and we try to present a united front. </p><p></p><p>My mother has bipolar and a whole mess of other diagnosis's, as well as being an alcoholic. My grandmother was an alcoholic and a control freak... not sure if there is a clinical term for that but she had to have absolute control over anything and everything that she could. I dont know much about the mental health issues on their father's side, as that is kind of a taboo in his culture... Kids don't behave, they get the belt, or that's how it was when he was young. </p><p></p><p>#1 was ahead on most of his developmental milestones...but he had a couple hours every night that he would scream and scream... It went from when he was about 3 weeks old until he was probably 11 months old. #2 didn't like ANYBODY. We actually called him "cranky Franky" because he didn't want to be held, didn't want to be rocked, nothing. He would tolerate being held to drink his bottle, but that was it. </p><p></p><p>Malika, The boys are exactly 10 months and 3 days apart... Imagine me when they were young! It was exhausting!! As toddlers, they liked to give hugs and kisses, and played normally... Potty training, it seems, came a little later than others I know, but they didn't "go" anywhere but their diapers... One of them (I don't know for sure which one) would take his diaper off in the middle of the night... </p><p></p><p>They changed schools this year because we moved in with my husband... They behave "wonderfully" in school, we just got done with PT conferences, and they had good things to say about both of them... The behaviors are entirely outside of school. #1 has tons of acquaintences, but as far as good friends, his "best friend' seems to change from day to day. #2 complains that nobody likes him and he doesn't like anybody...but his teacher says that he gets along with others very well. #2 also seems to have trouble following a conversation... I can be trying to discuss something with him and he will just interrupt me with a question or a statement that has nothing to do with what we are discussing...Usually it is about a TV show he likes or a Christmas present he wants or something along those lines. I have told him hundreds of times to not interrupt people but it happens every time he has something to say... He also can't slow down enough to look both ways before he crosses the street...My 5 year old can be trusted to do that, but not my 9 year old...</p><p></p><p>#1 has been diagnosed with ADHD, and is currently medicated with Methylphenidate (Ritalin) 30 mg a day of the long acting stuff... I don't think he has ever had a neuropsychologist consult, just a couple hours of testing at the local mental health center when they gave him his diagnosis. #2 has not been diagnosed with anything at all. The doctor thinks they both have ODD, but says there is nothing we can do about that. </p><p></p><p>How would I get them a neuropsychologist evaluation? I need help... Hubs and I both work, but their issues sometimes interfere with my going to work, and I am in danger of losing my job. I haven'[t been there long enough to qualify for FMLA, and work isn't very understanding... I work 3rd shift, Hubs works varying shifts, but one of us is always at home. I sleep while the kids are at school...about 5 or 6 hours a day, and it's not enough, but I make it work... If I worked any other shift, I would have to have someone watch the kids, and I don't truly think that a babysitter would put up with them for more than a day... My own parents don't watch them because of their behaviors...but I have to pay the bills somehow <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Palomina, post: 479106, member: 12810"] Thanks for all the replies, and for your reassurance. It means a lot :-) Now, on to your questions... My boys are both my biological children, and their biological father is not living in this country at this time. He has never been around a whole lot, but the boys do get to see him about once a year... I am married to a wonderful man who is as lost in my world as I am... He and I have many discussions about ideas to try and what can we do and where can we go for help... He is on my side, and we try to present a united front. My mother has bipolar and a whole mess of other diagnosis's, as well as being an alcoholic. My grandmother was an alcoholic and a control freak... not sure if there is a clinical term for that but she had to have absolute control over anything and everything that she could. I dont know much about the mental health issues on their father's side, as that is kind of a taboo in his culture... Kids don't behave, they get the belt, or that's how it was when he was young. #1 was ahead on most of his developmental milestones...but he had a couple hours every night that he would scream and scream... It went from when he was about 3 weeks old until he was probably 11 months old. #2 didn't like ANYBODY. We actually called him "cranky Franky" because he didn't want to be held, didn't want to be rocked, nothing. He would tolerate being held to drink his bottle, but that was it. Malika, The boys are exactly 10 months and 3 days apart... Imagine me when they were young! It was exhausting!! As toddlers, they liked to give hugs and kisses, and played normally... Potty training, it seems, came a little later than others I know, but they didn't "go" anywhere but their diapers... One of them (I don't know for sure which one) would take his diaper off in the middle of the night... They changed schools this year because we moved in with my husband... They behave "wonderfully" in school, we just got done with PT conferences, and they had good things to say about both of them... The behaviors are entirely outside of school. #1 has tons of acquaintences, but as far as good friends, his "best friend' seems to change from day to day. #2 complains that nobody likes him and he doesn't like anybody...but his teacher says that he gets along with others very well. #2 also seems to have trouble following a conversation... I can be trying to discuss something with him and he will just interrupt me with a question or a statement that has nothing to do with what we are discussing...Usually it is about a TV show he likes or a Christmas present he wants or something along those lines. I have told him hundreds of times to not interrupt people but it happens every time he has something to say... He also can't slow down enough to look both ways before he crosses the street...My 5 year old can be trusted to do that, but not my 9 year old... #1 has been diagnosed with ADHD, and is currently medicated with Methylphenidate (Ritalin) 30 mg a day of the long acting stuff... I don't think he has ever had a neuropsychologist consult, just a couple hours of testing at the local mental health center when they gave him his diagnosis. #2 has not been diagnosed with anything at all. The doctor thinks they both have ODD, but says there is nothing we can do about that. How would I get them a neuropsychologist evaluation? I need help... Hubs and I both work, but their issues sometimes interfere with my going to work, and I am in danger of losing my job. I haven'[t been there long enough to qualify for FMLA, and work isn't very understanding... I work 3rd shift, Hubs works varying shifts, but one of us is always at home. I sleep while the kids are at school...about 5 or 6 hours a day, and it's not enough, but I make it work... If I worked any other shift, I would have to have someone watch the kids, and I don't truly think that a babysitter would put up with them for more than a day... My own parents don't watch them because of their behaviors...but I have to pay the bills somehow :-) [/QUOTE]
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