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I can't get through to him
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<blockquote data-quote="jennd23" data-source="post: 451689" data-attributes="member: 11755"><p>He wears loose t-shirts, shorts/pants with elastic waistbands, socks and velcro shoes. I have eliminated all buttons (except for polo-shirts that he chooses) but I button those because he does struggle with fine motor skills. But when this all started, I removed anything "difficult" to put on from his wardrobe. </p><p></p><p>I've tried letting him pick them out, me picking them out, ironing them (so they're hot) right before he puts them on worked for a while but it doesn't anymore, our token economy - he was earning tokens for getting dressed, which also worked for a while but he got bored of the system for that and doesn't care about tokens anymore. I tried switching up what they can be spent on, they used to be for TV/wii/DS time. I tried making them worth $, getting X you can get Y, swimming time, he's just not incented to earn them anymore for getting dressed. He'll earn them for other things. And taking away the tokens is not a reasonable consequence for not getting dressed and is not an option I'm willing to revisit. That does NOT work for him and causes even more issues. </p><p></p><p>At one point when he was waking up at the crack of dawn, we had a rule that if he got dressed first he could play wii until breakfast time. He stopped waking up so early (which is a good thing) and we have a no wii in the morning rule now. (and this has been in place for at least a year) One day a few weeks ago he came in fully dressed and said he was ready to play wii. Now I was thrilled that he was already dressed but....it was time for his breakfast, time to start getting out of the house so he couldn't play, and we have the no wii-rule now just to avoid this kind of thing. Of course then THAT was a meltdown. </p><p></p><p>I have tried letting him sleep in, giving him a 5 minute "wake up" warning, waking up gently (patting his arm, soft voice, etc), using an alarm, getting him up early so he has time to wake up before having to do anything. The best days are when he wakes himself up, but unfortunately that's not always an option. And even those can turn from great to difficult child in a heartbeat. </p><p></p><p>I like your thoughts about the ability but lack of mental effort-ability thinking. I can see how that can be true.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jennd23, post: 451689, member: 11755"] He wears loose t-shirts, shorts/pants with elastic waistbands, socks and velcro shoes. I have eliminated all buttons (except for polo-shirts that he chooses) but I button those because he does struggle with fine motor skills. But when this all started, I removed anything "difficult" to put on from his wardrobe. I've tried letting him pick them out, me picking them out, ironing them (so they're hot) right before he puts them on worked for a while but it doesn't anymore, our token economy - he was earning tokens for getting dressed, which also worked for a while but he got bored of the system for that and doesn't care about tokens anymore. I tried switching up what they can be spent on, they used to be for TV/wii/DS time. I tried making them worth $, getting X you can get Y, swimming time, he's just not incented to earn them anymore for getting dressed. He'll earn them for other things. And taking away the tokens is not a reasonable consequence for not getting dressed and is not an option I'm willing to revisit. That does NOT work for him and causes even more issues. At one point when he was waking up at the crack of dawn, we had a rule that if he got dressed first he could play wii until breakfast time. He stopped waking up so early (which is a good thing) and we have a no wii in the morning rule now. (and this has been in place for at least a year) One day a few weeks ago he came in fully dressed and said he was ready to play wii. Now I was thrilled that he was already dressed but....it was time for his breakfast, time to start getting out of the house so he couldn't play, and we have the no wii-rule now just to avoid this kind of thing. Of course then THAT was a meltdown. I have tried letting him sleep in, giving him a 5 minute "wake up" warning, waking up gently (patting his arm, soft voice, etc), using an alarm, getting him up early so he has time to wake up before having to do anything. The best days are when he wakes himself up, but unfortunately that's not always an option. And even those can turn from great to difficult child in a heartbeat. I like your thoughts about the ability but lack of mental effort-ability thinking. I can see how that can be true. [/QUOTE]
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