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i cant go on like this anymore, im at my lowest i can go and scared :(
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 608215" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>At her age it is going to be tough to get real help for her with-o her cooperation. That is IF you first find someone who is willing to work with her. You cannot say she has to cooperate if there is no one to cooperate with. I don't know what your mental health/learning disability/addiction systems are like, so I cannot give specific info to access those for help. I can say that if you click the link in my signature at the bottom of this post, you will be taken to a thread about a Parent Report, one of the most powerful tools you can have. YOU write this report about your daughter. You include absolutely everything (format and explanations are in the thread) and take it to wherever you go for help. It helps keep all the info straight, and it helps you communicate with the professionals in a clear and detailed way. I strongly recommend starting one for her.</p><p></p><p>Another thing I highly recommend is turning to a "Do to Get" system with her. If she wants something, she must do something that you want to happen FIRST. It is simple, and difficult. You have to insist that she does something like clean up a mess, help with something, not swear at you, etc... before you give her anything, even permission to go do something. If you search the board for "Do to Get" you will come up with a lot of info and advice on implementing "Do to Get". </p><p></p><p>Another thing that may help is reading the book "Parenting Your Teen with Love and Logic". You can find it at bookstores or on the website ( <a href="http://www.loveandlogic.com" target="_blank">www.loveandlogic.com</a>). It is pretty easy to read, full of common sense, and really effective. The website has a LOT of good info and I encourage you to read the teacher info as well because you don't know where you will find info that helps. Lots of us have had good results from these methods. </p><p></p><p>Your daughter needs help. Given the overdose, it is possible that she is addicted to something. A drug test may be needed because she likely will NOT tell you teh truth. She also needs help because these have always been there, signalling that something has been wrong for a long time. Like many others here, I believe children do well when they are ABLE, not when they want to. This is esp true in younger years when most children want to please adults. difficult children are not neurotypical, meaning something is likely wired differently (NOT wrong) and they don't know how to cope because something is stoppign them. Sadly, by the teen years they are pretty unwilling to cooperate with most types of help for this. It is possible that she has a mental health or neurological issue that is a huge contributor to her problems. </p><p></p><p>One thing that si super important and NOT a luxury is caring for yourself. You can do exactly nothing for her if you are not healthy. This means getting physical help and seeing a psychologist to help you learn to cope with the stress of raising a difficult child. If you do not take care of your health, your body WILL turn on you. We have had parents hwo had early strokes from the stress, and who have had heart problems, and a myriad of other health problems from our bodies telling us they cannot cope with the continually increasing stress. There is NOTHING we can do for anyone else if we are very ill. Self care MUST be a major priority. Get a physical, exercise as often as you can, even if you just do some stretching in the bathroom every time you go in, eat right, and see a psychologist to help you deal with the stress Go to 12 Step meetings if addiction runs in the family and/or difficult child is addicted to something. (I am NOT saying she is, just that you MUST find out sothat you can help her. All the other treatments in the world are useless if she is addicted and does not get help.) </p><p></p><p>I hope this helps. Take what works for you and ignore the rest. Of course not everything works for everyone, and we all understand that.</p><p></p><p>(hugs)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 608215, member: 1233"] At her age it is going to be tough to get real help for her with-o her cooperation. That is IF you first find someone who is willing to work with her. You cannot say she has to cooperate if there is no one to cooperate with. I don't know what your mental health/learning disability/addiction systems are like, so I cannot give specific info to access those for help. I can say that if you click the link in my signature at the bottom of this post, you will be taken to a thread about a Parent Report, one of the most powerful tools you can have. YOU write this report about your daughter. You include absolutely everything (format and explanations are in the thread) and take it to wherever you go for help. It helps keep all the info straight, and it helps you communicate with the professionals in a clear and detailed way. I strongly recommend starting one for her. Another thing I highly recommend is turning to a "Do to Get" system with her. If she wants something, she must do something that you want to happen FIRST. It is simple, and difficult. You have to insist that she does something like clean up a mess, help with something, not swear at you, etc... before you give her anything, even permission to go do something. If you search the board for "Do to Get" you will come up with a lot of info and advice on implementing "Do to Get". Another thing that may help is reading the book "Parenting Your Teen with Love and Logic". You can find it at bookstores or on the website ( [url]www.loveandlogic.com[/url]). It is pretty easy to read, full of common sense, and really effective. The website has a LOT of good info and I encourage you to read the teacher info as well because you don't know where you will find info that helps. Lots of us have had good results from these methods. Your daughter needs help. Given the overdose, it is possible that she is addicted to something. A drug test may be needed because she likely will NOT tell you teh truth. She also needs help because these have always been there, signalling that something has been wrong for a long time. Like many others here, I believe children do well when they are ABLE, not when they want to. This is esp true in younger years when most children want to please adults. difficult children are not neurotypical, meaning something is likely wired differently (NOT wrong) and they don't know how to cope because something is stoppign them. Sadly, by the teen years they are pretty unwilling to cooperate with most types of help for this. It is possible that she has a mental health or neurological issue that is a huge contributor to her problems. One thing that si super important and NOT a luxury is caring for yourself. You can do exactly nothing for her if you are not healthy. This means getting physical help and seeing a psychologist to help you learn to cope with the stress of raising a difficult child. If you do not take care of your health, your body WILL turn on you. We have had parents hwo had early strokes from the stress, and who have had heart problems, and a myriad of other health problems from our bodies telling us they cannot cope with the continually increasing stress. There is NOTHING we can do for anyone else if we are very ill. Self care MUST be a major priority. Get a physical, exercise as often as you can, even if you just do some stretching in the bathroom every time you go in, eat right, and see a psychologist to help you deal with the stress Go to 12 Step meetings if addiction runs in the family and/or difficult child is addicted to something. (I am NOT saying she is, just that you MUST find out sothat you can help her. All the other treatments in the world are useless if she is addicted and does not get help.) I hope this helps. Take what works for you and ignore the rest. Of course not everything works for everyone, and we all understand that. (hugs) [/QUOTE]
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i cant go on like this anymore, im at my lowest i can go and scared :(
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