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I can't stop crying.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 710229" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>This is going to sound weird as heck right this moment...but please try to keep an open mind...</p><p>even though you are in horrible pain, try not to let her see it or know it.</p><p>You can verbalize calmly that you are upset and concerned, but try not to let her see that you are very depressed, distraught and so forth.</p><p>It's just my gut feelings. Perhaps at times she felt overwhelmed by your good graces and generosity. I know that sounds insane. Perhaps she has felt obligated to be the "good girl."</p><p>Our son went through periods of times that he felt obligated to be the "good kid" because we had a special needs child.</p><p>That is too much pressure on a child/teen/young adult. It is possible that she felt that she always had to do "right" because you were so good to her. You adopted her, took her on nice vacations, paid for things, were willing to pay for college...</p><p>And adopted children sometimes have BAGGAGE.</p><p>If you let her know how truly angry/upset/pained you are...it might trigger something in her. Maybe obligation. I don't know. It's just a sense I have that she shouldn't fully know how bad this has devastated you.</p><p>I agree, this could be an attachment thing. It could be some weird baggage that hopefully will pass in due time. </p><p>Put one foot in front of the other and try to do any little thing that brings you comfort and joy. As best as you can...slowly and calmly, in tiny increments...move forward. (((hugs)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 710229, member: 4152"] This is going to sound weird as heck right this moment...but please try to keep an open mind... even though you are in horrible pain, try not to let her see it or know it. You can verbalize calmly that you are upset and concerned, but try not to let her see that you are very depressed, distraught and so forth. It's just my gut feelings. Perhaps at times she felt overwhelmed by your good graces and generosity. I know that sounds insane. Perhaps she has felt obligated to be the "good girl." Our son went through periods of times that he felt obligated to be the "good kid" because we had a special needs child. That is too much pressure on a child/teen/young adult. It is possible that she felt that she always had to do "right" because you were so good to her. You adopted her, took her on nice vacations, paid for things, were willing to pay for college... And adopted children sometimes have BAGGAGE. If you let her know how truly angry/upset/pained you are...it might trigger something in her. Maybe obligation. I don't know. It's just a sense I have that she shouldn't fully know how bad this has devastated you. I agree, this could be an attachment thing. It could be some weird baggage that hopefully will pass in due time. Put one foot in front of the other and try to do any little thing that brings you comfort and joy. As best as you can...slowly and calmly, in tiny increments...move forward. (((hugs))) [/QUOTE]
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I can't stop crying.....
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