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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 589052" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Dixies fire, it does sound like you have your hands full. The health professionals blowing you off doesn't help either. I've found sometimes I need to go in with a request and also some basis for asking for what I want. For example, when difficult child 3 was a toddler and we realised there were problems (in his case, language delay made it more obvious) the GP I went to did not want to refer us to anyone because he felt I was making it up (long story - the guy was a jerk). So I said, "If I am wrong, the specialist will tell me I am wrong. I will be reassured. if I am right, the sooner we find out, the better. I sincerely hope I am wrong. You believe I am wrong. Let the specialist confirm this."</p><p></p><p>Sadly, I was right. Also sadly, the GP could never accept this. At a later time, he refused to accept the autism diagnosis. I told him to argue with the specialist he referred me to, because that's who made the diagnosis, not me.</p><p></p><p>Mind you, difficult child 3 is doing amazingly now.</p><p></p><p>A lot of what MWM said about autism was ringing bells for me. difficult child 3's older sister does not have a diagnosis of autism, but we were told when she was 10 that she has Asperger's traits. We never had the oldest one assessed for anything, we didn't want to know and she was managing okay.</p><p></p><p>The thing is, even without a diagnosis, there is still a lot you can do. Your friend with an autistic child may well be apparently handling things better because they have a routine. Kids like this thrive on routine and often the household unconsciously patterns around a routine set by the child. So that can be a start - routine. Second thing - get your hands on "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It deals primarily with what is often described as ODD. It deals with it in a way that can turn things around. Cause doesn't matter, diagnosis doesn't matter. How you handle the kid is what matters.</p><p></p><p>Next - get that neuropsychologist evaluation. Two angles you can try to get the referral - </p><p></p><p>1) "We need to know what educational issues she may have. Is she gifted? Are there gaps in her abilities? Does she need support in any way? Does she perhaps need extension in gifted areas? I'd like to know because some of her behavioural problems may be due to frustration."</p><p></p><p>OR</p><p></p><p>2) "I am concerned at some of her behaviours. I'd like to ensure she gets the most appropriate management, and not just shove pills into her. if she needs medications, then an assessment will be better evidence for this, as well as pointing us to which medications specifically, and how much as well as for how long. I would prefer a thorough evaluation before we go down the medication route. Sometimes other management techniques can help reduce or avoid the need for medications, and surely that would be a good thing?"</p><p></p><p>Use the same technique to get her into counselling. At 8 she is a bit young for CBT, which could be why you got fobbed off, but if you hunt around and find the right expert who can do CBT with a bright younger child, THEN get the referral, it may be easier for you. (CBT - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy).</p><p></p><p>You can also push the money button - "I believe that this will be the cheapest option in the long run, as well as the option with the best long-term chance of success. Help us cut to the chase and not waste any more of this little girl's time."</p><p></p><p>Good luck. Welcome to the ranks of pushy parenting. If you can pull this off, you can get to the point where the doctor, when he sees you coming, reaches for his referral pad and waits for you to tell him who to write it to.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 589052, member: 1991"] Dixies fire, it does sound like you have your hands full. The health professionals blowing you off doesn't help either. I've found sometimes I need to go in with a request and also some basis for asking for what I want. For example, when difficult child 3 was a toddler and we realised there were problems (in his case, language delay made it more obvious) the GP I went to did not want to refer us to anyone because he felt I was making it up (long story - the guy was a jerk). So I said, "If I am wrong, the specialist will tell me I am wrong. I will be reassured. if I am right, the sooner we find out, the better. I sincerely hope I am wrong. You believe I am wrong. Let the specialist confirm this." Sadly, I was right. Also sadly, the GP could never accept this. At a later time, he refused to accept the autism diagnosis. I told him to argue with the specialist he referred me to, because that's who made the diagnosis, not me. Mind you, difficult child 3 is doing amazingly now. A lot of what MWM said about autism was ringing bells for me. difficult child 3's older sister does not have a diagnosis of autism, but we were told when she was 10 that she has Asperger's traits. We never had the oldest one assessed for anything, we didn't want to know and she was managing okay. The thing is, even without a diagnosis, there is still a lot you can do. Your friend with an autistic child may well be apparently handling things better because they have a routine. Kids like this thrive on routine and often the household unconsciously patterns around a routine set by the child. So that can be a start - routine. Second thing - get your hands on "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It deals primarily with what is often described as ODD. It deals with it in a way that can turn things around. Cause doesn't matter, diagnosis doesn't matter. How you handle the kid is what matters. Next - get that neuropsychologist evaluation. Two angles you can try to get the referral - 1) "We need to know what educational issues she may have. Is she gifted? Are there gaps in her abilities? Does she need support in any way? Does she perhaps need extension in gifted areas? I'd like to know because some of her behavioural problems may be due to frustration." OR 2) "I am concerned at some of her behaviours. I'd like to ensure she gets the most appropriate management, and not just shove pills into her. if she needs medications, then an assessment will be better evidence for this, as well as pointing us to which medications specifically, and how much as well as for how long. I would prefer a thorough evaluation before we go down the medication route. Sometimes other management techniques can help reduce or avoid the need for medications, and surely that would be a good thing?" Use the same technique to get her into counselling. At 8 she is a bit young for CBT, which could be why you got fobbed off, but if you hunt around and find the right expert who can do CBT with a bright younger child, THEN get the referral, it may be easier for you. (CBT - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy). You can also push the money button - "I believe that this will be the cheapest option in the long run, as well as the option with the best long-term chance of success. Help us cut to the chase and not waste any more of this little girl's time." Good luck. Welcome to the ranks of pushy parenting. If you can pull this off, you can get to the point where the doctor, when he sees you coming, reaches for his referral pad and waits for you to tell him who to write it to. Marg [/QUOTE]
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