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I could use some advice please
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<blockquote data-quote="Jena" data-source="post: 149725" data-attributes="member: 4514"><p>hi,</p><p></p><p>i'm totally open to everything at this point. and have come so very far with myself in the past 3 mos. to be very honest. i'm truly let me just say not here for financial reasons i realy am not. that isn't the woman i am. </p><p></p><p>i do love this man very much. the emotional abuse you refer to and things regarding how he handled the kids, etc. his i didnt' mean in anyway to turn a blind eye regarding what we experienced or others opinions of such. yet it is also very true that often when a person with whom only knows someone via the web does not truly understand the entire situation so often people can view it as uh oh she's in trouble he's abusive she's in denial get out. i have to be honest in saying that he isnt' abusive, he handled a few situations in sucha way that my stomach was turning, yet after speaking with him and him returning to therapy with me jointly on occassion and on his own his way of handling the kids, and our relationship and differences we have has made a complete turn around.</p><p></p><p>now what you say in regards to me checking his phone, and the other stuff. your so right. i don't trust i'm committment phobic i dont' trust easily if someone gives me issue even slightest not to trust i normally run for hills that is who i am. so i've been working really hard in therapy to not only alleviate the stress due to difficult child but to also move past my emotional issues and become a much healthier me.</p><p></p><p>he is scared to death of this marriage. i can't understand why he would proceed wtih something if he's petriifed to just make me happy that is just stupid. he keeps saying he'll be ok he'll calm down it's perfectly normal.</p><p></p><p>i moved in based on convenience as you know had spent it all on difficult child doctor's stupidly but i did ihave alot of faith and i assumed it would all work out. so i moved in quickly becuase at the time we had no where else to go. i've come to rely on him for not only emotional support but yes the roof over our heads. so it's not a convenience thing. yet you may be correct in stating it's not a healthy thing.</p><p></p><p>we're going to go to therapy together tonight i think, i'm waiting on call back. a close friend told me who knows him pretty well said go meet this woman befriend her, etc. i'm just too old to make anymore major mistakes. </p><p></p><p>thank you for your candor but i truly wanted you to knwo i'm not here out of convenience i do love him, maybe your right and i shouldn't but deep down in my heart i truly do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jena, post: 149725, member: 4514"] hi, i'm totally open to everything at this point. and have come so very far with myself in the past 3 mos. to be very honest. i'm truly let me just say not here for financial reasons i realy am not. that isn't the woman i am. i do love this man very much. the emotional abuse you refer to and things regarding how he handled the kids, etc. his i didnt' mean in anyway to turn a blind eye regarding what we experienced or others opinions of such. yet it is also very true that often when a person with whom only knows someone via the web does not truly understand the entire situation so often people can view it as uh oh she's in trouble he's abusive she's in denial get out. i have to be honest in saying that he isnt' abusive, he handled a few situations in sucha way that my stomach was turning, yet after speaking with him and him returning to therapy with me jointly on occassion and on his own his way of handling the kids, and our relationship and differences we have has made a complete turn around. now what you say in regards to me checking his phone, and the other stuff. your so right. i don't trust i'm committment phobic i dont' trust easily if someone gives me issue even slightest not to trust i normally run for hills that is who i am. so i've been working really hard in therapy to not only alleviate the stress due to difficult child but to also move past my emotional issues and become a much healthier me. he is scared to death of this marriage. i can't understand why he would proceed wtih something if he's petriifed to just make me happy that is just stupid. he keeps saying he'll be ok he'll calm down it's perfectly normal. i moved in based on convenience as you know had spent it all on difficult child doctor's stupidly but i did ihave alot of faith and i assumed it would all work out. so i moved in quickly becuase at the time we had no where else to go. i've come to rely on him for not only emotional support but yes the roof over our heads. so it's not a convenience thing. yet you may be correct in stating it's not a healthy thing. we're going to go to therapy together tonight i think, i'm waiting on call back. a close friend told me who knows him pretty well said go meet this woman befriend her, etc. i'm just too old to make anymore major mistakes. thank you for your candor but i truly wanted you to knwo i'm not here out of convenience i do love him, maybe your right and i shouldn't but deep down in my heart i truly do. [/QUOTE]
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