Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
I could use some advice please
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 149758" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Jennifer, I doubt you're going to like this, but there is no way I would tell you the truth if I were he. You would be angry that he wanted to confide in his friend rather than you. You'd accuse him of wanting to be with her, of trusting her more than you, of having more faith in her judgment than he does in yours. You may even be right but as long as he feels you're going to be upset about him talking to her, he's going to lie to you about it -- to protect both himself and you.</p><p> </p><p>He had problems with his ex. His friend knows his ex well. I don't know how you would handle a discussion about his ex, but I'm willing to bet you'd go off the deep end -- the last thing he would need at that time. Plus, sometimes it is easier to talk to someone who knows all parties well and get an outside opinion.</p><p> </p><p>My best friend is male. We started as lovers and were in a relationship for several years. As time went on, we became best friends and lovers. More time passed and we discovered we had a great friendship but a lousy relationship. Now, we email and IM each other daily. I know about every fight he has had with his wife, when his kids sneeze, when his business has problems. I probably know about what is going on in his life more than his wife does. I don't talk to her, she is not my friend -- she is my best friend's mate. Fortunately, she's wise enough and secure enough to accept that we do love each other and always will but we will never be lovers or in a relationship together again -- we don't want it, we value our friendship. I think if she tried to stop our communications, he would do it behind her back and lie to her. He needs me as much as he needs his wife, just in very different ways.</p><p> </p><p>FYI, I convinced him to marry his wife. I went to his wedding. I was the second call he made when she became pregnant after his parents. I got the first picture of the baby. He was there when my daughter's adoption became final. He came running when I called the first time she ran away. He visited me at the hospital daily when the stalker harmed me. We truly are each other's best friends, nothing more.</p><p> </p><p>I think we have a healthy relationship. I know he has a healthy relationship with his wife. What you and your boyfriend have is not healthy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 149758, member: 3626"] Jennifer, I doubt you're going to like this, but there is no way I would tell you the truth if I were he. You would be angry that he wanted to confide in his friend rather than you. You'd accuse him of wanting to be with her, of trusting her more than you, of having more faith in her judgment than he does in yours. You may even be right but as long as he feels you're going to be upset about him talking to her, he's going to lie to you about it -- to protect both himself and you. He had problems with his ex. His friend knows his ex well. I don't know how you would handle a discussion about his ex, but I'm willing to bet you'd go off the deep end -- the last thing he would need at that time. Plus, sometimes it is easier to talk to someone who knows all parties well and get an outside opinion. My best friend is male. We started as lovers and were in a relationship for several years. As time went on, we became best friends and lovers. More time passed and we discovered we had a great friendship but a lousy relationship. Now, we email and IM each other daily. I know about every fight he has had with his wife, when his kids sneeze, when his business has problems. I probably know about what is going on in his life more than his wife does. I don't talk to her, she is not my friend -- she is my best friend's mate. Fortunately, she's wise enough and secure enough to accept that we do love each other and always will but we will never be lovers or in a relationship together again -- we don't want it, we value our friendship. I think if she tried to stop our communications, he would do it behind her back and lie to her. He needs me as much as he needs his wife, just in very different ways. FYI, I convinced him to marry his wife. I went to his wedding. I was the second call he made when she became pregnant after his parents. I got the first picture of the baby. He was there when my daughter's adoption became final. He came running when I called the first time she ran away. He visited me at the hospital daily when the stalker harmed me. We truly are each other's best friends, nothing more. I think we have a healthy relationship. I know he has a healthy relationship with his wife. What you and your boyfriend have is not healthy. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
I could use some advice please
Top