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I could use some advice please
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<blockquote data-quote="DammitJanet" data-source="post: 149776" data-attributes="member: 1514"><p>I think MB put it better than I did. </p><p></p><p>Ya know, when I first got together with tony I had so many issues relating to a relationship its a wonder we ever stayed together. I didnt trust men, I assumed they were going to hurt and use me, I figured I would use them before they could hurt me and be done with it. I tried to control everything and put my own insecurities out there as though HE was the one doing wrong. I felt like he was going to do the same things to me that all other guys had done...especially my ex.</p><p></p><p>Not long after we met and moved in together he got fed up with my behavior and told me he wasnt my ex, he wasnt any other guy and I had to stop treating him the way I was. I didnt take the hint and he left one night and slept with the girl he liked when I met him. Now granted we had only been together maybe 3 weeks...if that...I got the message loud and clear that time. The next day we talked everything out and have been together for 25 years this July. Nothing is perfect. He probably has more reason to feel like you do because I have cheated on him. He has somewhat forgiven me but it took quite a bit of work to get there. He has had some friendships with women but they arent something I worry about. He is also a natural born flirt...or people just like him because he talks to everyone in a friendly way. </p><p></p><p>If your fiance is lying just to be lying...then something is wrong. You two need to sit down and have a long long talk about what you expect out of a relationship. There is no reason to put a rush on anything. If you truly love each other time isnt going to change anything.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DammitJanet, post: 149776, member: 1514"] I think MB put it better than I did. Ya know, when I first got together with tony I had so many issues relating to a relationship its a wonder we ever stayed together. I didnt trust men, I assumed they were going to hurt and use me, I figured I would use them before they could hurt me and be done with it. I tried to control everything and put my own insecurities out there as though HE was the one doing wrong. I felt like he was going to do the same things to me that all other guys had done...especially my ex. Not long after we met and moved in together he got fed up with my behavior and told me he wasnt my ex, he wasnt any other guy and I had to stop treating him the way I was. I didnt take the hint and he left one night and slept with the girl he liked when I met him. Now granted we had only been together maybe 3 weeks...if that...I got the message loud and clear that time. The next day we talked everything out and have been together for 25 years this July. Nothing is perfect. He probably has more reason to feel like you do because I have cheated on him. He has somewhat forgiven me but it took quite a bit of work to get there. He has had some friendships with women but they arent something I worry about. He is also a natural born flirt...or people just like him because he talks to everyone in a friendly way. If your fiance is lying just to be lying...then something is wrong. You two need to sit down and have a long long talk about what you expect out of a relationship. There is no reason to put a rush on anything. If you truly love each other time isnt going to change anything. [/QUOTE]
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